Aztecs survive scary trap game by killing Utah State to death

All the elements of a classic trap game were in place. A road game. An opponent that was probably better than its record showed. Elevation (4,534′). A driving rainstorm. A lethargic start and an early deficit.

Admit it, you where worried about this game when Utah State scored on its first drive. Hell I was worried about this game when I woke up this morning.

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My imaginary friend Admiral Ackbar Gbaja-Biamila

Yet here we are hours later, basking in the most complete display of San Diego State dominance since … what … last year’s Hawaii Bowl? The Aztecs hammered Utah State 40-13 on Friday night, and they did so despite the hostile crowd of grizzled survivalists in the stands. Despite the elevation (4,534′). Despite the fact that the game was being played in a damn pineapple under the sea.

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Game Preview: Aztecs vs. Utah State

What: San Diego State Aztecs @ Utah State University Aggies
When: Friday, October 28 at 5:00 p.m.
TV: CBS Sports Network
Line: Aztecs -6

MAVERIK! WILD TIME!
Unfortunately, we don’t have a rivalry with Utah State. No fun names, no eBay trinkets on the line; just plain old pride. Utah State is in a position where they pretty much need to win out to even think of a bowl game in 2016. San Diego State is fighting for a conference title. All kidding aside, this should be a pretty good game of Mountain West football action.

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We don’t want to talk about this, but we should probably talk about this

If you’re a fan of the San Diego State Aztecs, you probably don’t want to read this post.

As a fan of the San Diego State Aztecs, I don’t look forward to writing this post.

But after watching the first two games of the World Series in Cleveland – all against the wrenching backdrop of news coverage of indigenous people taking part in protests against the Dakota Access Pipeline – the mascot issue is staring us in the face right now.

(takes deep breath)

I’ll proceed with caution here, I promise.

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OFFICIAL POWER RANKINGS: 2016-17 basketball road trip destinations

If I may divert your attention away from football and our tightly contested quest for another Mountain West division title, we do have a full season of bouncy hoops on the horizon. Many questions about this team remain unanswered.

How will the newcomers fit into coach Fisher’s rotation? Will Jeremy Hemsley make the proverbial jump from promising freshman to dominant sophomore? Could Zylan Cheatham lob an alley-oop so high that even he, himself could not slam it down?

But even above all those is: which road trips should fans be planning? Between Fresno, Albuquerque, Reno, Phoenix and Honolulu, there are a lot fun and exciting places to develop a crippling addiction to crystal meth with the locals. Not to mention the big city excitement of Chicago, Las Vegas and Logan, Utah.

Here are your potential Aztec basketball road trips, ranked worst to best:

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Welcome back, Wicker

Congrats to everybody who picked John David Wicker in your SDSU athletic director search pool! Please tweet at @lemonverbena_ to claim your cash prizes. Pay no attention to his denials – he definitely has your money.

The tough thing about analyzing an administrative hire as a sports blogger man-infant is that there’s a bit of a knowledge gap that’s unavoidable. I haven’t watched any CBS Sports telecasts of Wicker meeting with major donors to get them to fund facilitates upgrades. I can’t watch highlights set to Drowning Pool’s “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” of him lobbying the commissioner of a Power Five conference (though I would watch the SHIT out of that tbh).

All I can to is sift through some of the precious information that’s out there already. What follows is Kabeer Thirty’s due diligence on John David Wicker.

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Literal Mountain West Roundup

What follows is a caustic précis of football results from the inferior athletic conference the San Diego State Aztecs play in. Let’s see what in the Sam Hill those middling teams did this week:

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Aztecs win bigly against worst team they’ve played in nearly a week

Seeing as we’ve become a fanbase of insufferable, entitled greed pigs, there has been some hand-wringing of late about how we haven’t been beating inferior Mountain West competition by nearly enough.

Happy now, jackals?

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Game Preview: Aztecs vs. San José State

What: San José State Spartans @ San Diego State Aztecs
When: Friday, October 21 at 7:30 p.m.
TV: ESPN 2
Line: Aztecs -23.5

TONIGHT, WE DINE IN HELL!
If you stopped reading after a 300 quote, I don’t blame you. Rest assured that this is just as ham-fisted an idea as anything else I’ve had, and I simply looked it up. It’s bad, but not that “wow, this guy actually enjoys and is quoting 300” level of bad. Kind of like San José State football! *thumbs up*

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