Seeing as we’ve become a fanbase of insufferable, entitled greed pigs, there has been some hand-wringing of late about how we haven’t been beating inferior Mountain West competition by nearly enough.
Happy now, jackals?
San Diego State hosted San Jose State on Friday night and the result was pretty much what everyone was expecting: a low stress heavy-sack beating of one of the worst teams in the conference – and by extension one of the worst teams in all of college football. The final score was 42-3, but only because Rocky Long called off the dogs in the fourth quarter. Or maybe the starters had to leave the stadium early to walk their dogs?
Whatever. I spent most of the second half on my phone.
After convincing, yet uninspiring wins over UNLV and Fresno State, we at long last have our blowout. The Aztecs, now 3-0 in conference and crappy-bowl eligible at 6-1 overall, have outscored their opponents 85-13 in MWC play. The defense has yet to allow a touchdown in conference, and they used a meaningless, yet delicious goal-line stand in the fourth quarter to keep that streak intact.
Call me crazy but I’m starting to think SDSU might have a shot at winning its division!
As I mentioned on Twitter this week, I have family members who attended San Jose State and I’m from that part of the Bay Area (the boring part!). As such, I actually have somewhat of a soft spot for the Spartans.
But after tonight?
Fuuuuuck that team.
San Jose State defenders went helmet-to-helmet on both D.J. Pumphrey and Rashaad Penny and generally played one of the dirtier games I’ve seen from an opponent this season.
Best moment in a game that had very few bad moments? Spartans safety Trevon Bierria, who attempted to decapitate Pumphrey on an incomplete pass in the second quarter, was flagged for targeting and ejected. On the next play, D.J. did this:
The most awesome part? Bierria was still walking off the field and hadn’t yet made it to the tunnel. He heard (and probably turned around to see) the next play unfold like a big “screw you, asshat.”
As you can probably tell, I am a very petty person.
Pumphrey, who took quite a pounding in this one, nevertheless added to his Heisman campaign, gaining 135 yards on 24 carries and scoring on two highlight-reel runs. But an interesting sub-plot is developing in the backfield.
Penny had himself a game too, scoring three times, including this Muemian beaut:
Penny now has 452 yards rushing this season with probably seven games left to play. Pumphrey is up to 1,246. At their current averages, Penny would finish with 904 yards and Pumphrey 2,492.
The possibility of the Aztecs having a 2,000 rusher and a 1,000 rusher on the same roster is actually kinda realistic. That’s something that’s pretty rare in college football history.
Rare in that it has never happened before ever.
With wideout Mikah Holder (ankle) still out, it was up to Christian Chapman to find a big, inviting target to help get the passing game on track.
Wells was essentially the Aztecs’ only offense early on as the Spartans loaded more guys in the box than they used at the Battle of Thermopylae (I was a history major, folks!). His five catches for 62 yards helped soften the defense for all that cool-ass running you saw earlier in this post.
It is my opinion that important Aztecs players should not violate team rules. Quarterbacks, cornerbacks, longsnappers et al. Mind your Ps and Qs, fellas.
WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST SAY??
OK, OK. Starting …. now!