Game Preview: Aztecs vs. Utah State

What: San Diego State Aztecs @ Utah State University Aggies
When: Friday, October 28 at 5:00 p.m.
TV: CBS Sports Network
Line: Aztecs -6

Unfortunately, we don’t have a rivalry with Utah State. No fun names, no eBay trinkets on the line; just plain old pride. Utah State is in a position where they pretty much need to win out to even think of a bowl game in 2016. San Diego State is fighting for a conference title. All kidding aside, this should be a pretty good game of Mountain West football action.

Why should we be scared of them?
Utah State are a very good team at home, losing  only four times at Maverik (née Romney) Stadium since the beginning of the 2012 season. Last year, coming off of a 52-26 win over Boise State, the Aggies visited Qualcomm Stadium and were slapped down by a final score of 48-14. This is a pretty easy problem to solve – team fighting for their season (Aggies pretty much need to run the table to play in a bowl game), team seeking revenge, team plays VERY well at home = let’s get ready to shit our pants.

Do they have anyone worth watching?
You’ll want to keep your eyes on junior quarterback Kent Myers. He can run, he can throw. He’s a dual-threat! Myers is ranked third in the Mountain West in passing yards, and has 272 rushing yards and 3 touchdowns on 73 attempts. He’s a player who is going to keep the #6 defense in the nation on their toes.

Junior running back Tonny Lindsey and senior running back Devante Mays combine for a formidable team in the backfield. Mays has been injured for several weeks, but the Salt Lake Tribune reported his return was possible last week vs. Fresno State. He did NOT return, however, one would assume the story is the same this week (and the return more likely).

Why should we hate them?
We both hate BYU, so we should shake hands and may the best team win.

Do they have any famous alumni we can make fun of?
If I’ve taught you anything here during my time at Kabeer Thirty, it’s that I loathe chain restaurants. This week, we find that one of Utah State’s famous alumni is none other than Nolan Bushnell, the founder of Chuck E. Cheese’s. Sure, he also founded Atari (a truth which demonstrates our shared affinity for burying garbage in the middle of New Mexico), but we’re going to ignore that for the sake of this piece.

Chuck E. Cheese’s is amazing for the fact that you’re able to experience the feeling of being surrounded by vomit, feces, urine, rotting food and an environment ideal for growing staph and MRSA – and all of that is BEFORE you actually decide to enter the ball pit (where all of these things are literal). Who wouldn’t be proud of their restaurant pioneering the phrase “cardboard pizza?” And EVERYBODY ends up there. As a kid, some classmate is going to have a birthday party there. As an adult, you’re the parent taking your kid there. Maybe you made an ironic college trip with your buddies, maybe you’re on a list and/or banned from the building now. Lucky you.

Will we beat them?
Was Merlin Olsen an adequate replacement for Victor French on “Little House On The Prairie”?

I guess. Probably.

Author: Advisory Columnist

On the Twitter @EgosAndDespair, where I mostly tweet about stuff that has nothing to do with why you followed me to begin with. Follow along!


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