Game Preview: Aztecs vs. University of Hawai’i at Manoa Rainbow Warriors

What: Hawai’i Rainbow Warriors at San Diego State Aztecs
When: Saturday, Nov. 5, 4 p.m.
TV: CBS Sports Network
Line: Aztecs -21.5

The WAC Pack
Hawai’i/San Diego State is yet another Mountain West match-up featuring two teams who used to go at it in the glory days of the Western Athletic Conference – not a rivalry, but still fairly appropriate for the homecoming game.

The Rainbow Warriors you see today, however, do not remind one of the WAC Rainbows. Those teams wore some of the BEST uniforms in college football, IMO. The newer Under Armour versions are a fantastic update. They should go back to these, today. This is the platform for my campaign.


Why should we be scared of them?
Probably not? They give up 460 yards per game, and one would expect Pumphrey to run around on them all day long. Then again, their passing game is their bread and butter. They shouldn’t have any reason to run the football with any regularity, so this could turn into something like what we saw vs. Cal.

Do they have anyone worth watching?
Hawai’i has the No. 3 passing offense in the Mountain West. If they are going to win on Saturday, it’s going to be through the duo of sophomore quarterback Dru Brown and senior wide receiver Marcus Kemp.

Why should we hate them?
Because we ain’t them, or some such.

There are few things I dislike more than people who excuse San Diego’s history of sports ineptitude with “well, hey, the weather’s great!” What makes it worse is that the only thing San Diegans like more than their neighborhood taco shop is hearing people say nice things about San Diego. It’s like catnip for the extremely vain city’s soul.

My point is that Hawai’i surpasses San Diego in overall beauty. One of the planet’s legitimately gorgeous, amazing, unique places, and they can go to hell for it!

Do they have any famous alumni we can make fun of?
Political discourse in this country is, at best, a tire fire taking place inside of an enormous dumpster. Also, people are attempting to put out said fire with feces and matted hair. There are a lot of reasons for this, but one of the biggest is because of inflammatory “political” talk show hosts like Michael Savage, Hawai’i graduate! His real name is Michael Weiner, which he obviously decided to change because it’s cooler to sound like you’re the bassist in a RATT tribute band. Conspiracy theories, victimhood and hating people different from one’s self are par for the course in 2016 politics. Thanks for your effort, Mike.

Also of note is that his son (Russell) created Rockstar Energy Drink, the flat-brimmed cap of beverages. Russell attended college at San Die-HOLY SHIT, ABORT! ABORT!


Will we beat them?


Author: Advisory Columnist

On the Twitter @EgosAndDespair, where I mostly tweet about stuff that has nothing to do with why you followed me to begin with. Follow along!


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