Five things learned from the new MLS stadium rendering(s)

Two exciting things happened today in SDSU’s quest to actually have a place to play football after the 2018 season that is not Patrick Henry High School!

The first happened on an aircraft carrier moored in San Diego Bay.
(Editor’s note: It’s the USS Midway ffs, show a little respect you damn hippies.)

The second happened on THE INTERNET, where soccercitysd.com – the splashy website of our MLS investor heroes – posted new stadium renderings. Well, if they aren’t new, at least I hadn’t seen them before. I think that counts as new.

stadium1

That’s awful purty! It also provides far more context than the previous rendering – the one of clearly-inebriated, checkered-flag waving UCLA fans – so it’s also pretty educational. This interior rendering from the site’s front page is pretty snazzy too:

screenshot-2017-01-30-at-4-09-59-pm

Here are five things I learned just from these new views of SDSU’s (hopefully) future football home:

We will soon tailgate like true Pac-12 fans

stadiumtailgate

Pac-12 fans like to tailgate unconventionally. UCLA fans tailgate on a golf course. Washington fans pre-party on boats. Stanford fans spend their hours before kickoff creating a new app that will cost your father his livelihood.

We, apparently, are going to tailgate in an unusual setting, too  – a pair of rec soccer fields! Sorry Connor and Braylynn, but you’ll be playing your next AYSO game atop burning charcoal embers and broken bottles of Fireball. Power Five here we come!

Ample shade will be provided by my grandmother’s super-80s glass-topped coffee table

stadiumroof

So the roof is … translucent? Of course it is! Because why choose between an overhang that provides shade and a surface you can do cocaine off of? You get an overhang that does both!

Mission Valley east of the 15 is currently/will soon be Paris

stadiumparis

And to think I always thought that area was nothing but a flood zone, crappy 1960s apartment blocks and McGregor’s. Apparently it’s the City of damn Light! C‘est genial!

A frontier log fort will protect us from fuel tank explosions

stadiumfort

Ah, those looming fuel tanks, just ready to cause a fiery disaster. Fear not! It looks like we’re going to build frontier battlements between the tanks and the stadium, to both absorb the blast and give Lewis and Clark a place to make camp on their westward journey to discover overpriced beers at Mission Valley Yard House.

There will be live music outside the stadium while games are in progress

stadiummusic

Why not, right? Judging by the size of the crowd and the group on stage, that is a supergroup made up of members of Slightly Stoopid and Sprung Monkey.

No, seriously this looks cool
This looks like a great place to play pro soccer and collegiate football; a modern venue of conveniences where SDSU would win games and print money. Kudos to this investor group for having their shit together.

Now, how about something in the way of an American football-specific rendering? Pretty please?

Editor’s postscript: Also notable is this page on the SoccerCitySD site.

screenshot-2017-01-30-at-4-10-13-pm

30,000 SEAT SOCCER STADIUM
They seem pretty dead set on 30,000. SDSU isn’t officially a party to this proposal, yet, and the school’s stated preference of a stadium holding 30-40k isn’t represented. My guess is it ends up “expandable” to 35k by cramming in standing-room bar rails and temporary seats in the corners.

STEEPEST STADIUM IN AMERICA
Steeeeep! SO steep. Creates intimacy, a lively European atmosphere, and that scary feeling you might just stumble and fall to your death.

All in all, pretty cool renderings.  – lemonverbena

 

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Author: Aztecs Killing Him

Former proprietor of AztecsKillingHim dot com, a long-dead SDSU sports blog that was possibly dumber even than this one. On Twitter at @akh_blog.

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