AZTECS ALUMNI REPORT: The Golden State Warriors are history’s greatest monsters

The Golden State Warriors want me dead. They tried to kill me through mind-numblingly inept and boring basketball when I was teenager in the Bay Area in the 1990s. Fortunately, I managed to survive those bleak years of Donyell Marshall and Todd Fuller by developing a lifelong apathy toward the NBA.

Naturally, now that I’ve been shaken from my apathy by a San Diego State alumnus achieving superstar status, the Warriors are coming for my ass again.

Kawhi Leonard had 26 points and 8 boards in 24 minutes, but did not return after this play. The Warriors, down 23 at the time of the injury, came back to win Game 1 of the Western Conference finals.

Get well, Kawhi. See you in hell, Zaza. Eat shit, Warriors.

Better luck next time
Good news! Addison Reed was elevated to closer of the Mets after an injury to Jeurys Familia. Yesterday, he got his first save opportunity. Let’s take a look!

Is that bad? That seems bad.

Fly, D.J., fly
God, this has been a depressing report so far. We need a palate cleanser, stat.

(thumbs up emoji)

Shade of Black
Times are good for BASEBALL GUY and former Aztec hurler Bud Black, whose Rockies are in first place … but that doesn’t mean he has to be happy about it. Here’s a clip from yesterday of a pink-clad Buddy making one of his relievers feel like a worthless sack of crap for merely existing.

If you’re familiar with the unwritten decorum of MLB, that no-eye-contact, no-handshake dismissal is basically the equivalent of giving dude an atomic wedgie on the mound.

Could’ve been worse, I suppose. At least he didn’t get the Milton Bradley treatment.

Gahhhhh
Seriously, WTF is happening to former Aztecs right now?

This is basically what Tolver did to MWC secondaries in 2002. If you’re looking for suspects, I think Ron McBride has a clear motive.

We’re glad you’re OK, JR.

Woke Carl Weathers tweet of the Week

Did we mention Carl’s show, “Chicago Justice” is possibly on the chopping block? JFC … this is the worst Aztecs Alumni Report ever!

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Author: Aztecs Killing Him

Former proprietor of AztecsKillingHim dot com, a long-dead SDSU sports blog that was possibly dumber even than this one. On Twitter at @akh_blog.

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