What: University of California, Davis Aggies at San Diego State Aztecs
When: Saturday, September 2, 5:30 p.m.
TV: Facebook (seriously)
Line: N/A (Aztecs -A LOT)
I’m so hungry, I could eat at Arby’s
Football is back. Hooray! Who cares who the opponent is, right? This is your requisite cupcake to start out the season. Meals start with an appetizer, where football seasons start with dessert. Except dessert is usually rich, sweet, enticing and not this. Perhaps we should start calling these games “putting on your pants before going out” or “where the fuck did I leave my belt?” These are terrible ideas, I realize. We’re STARVING.
What is great is that San Diego State is estimating a crowd of around 50,000 for tomorrow’s game, which feels oddly great to say after the last few months of football-related drama in San Diego. Assuming the game goes as expected, it should be a cathartic experience.
Why should we be scared of them?
An “aggie” is a student at an agricultural school. Have you seen an angry gardener?
Do they have anyone worth watching?
Senior tight end Derek Baljeu is one to watch, as the only viticulture & enology major on the roster. This young man is going to grow grapes and make wine, folks. This is The Lord’s work, and we should watch his career with great interest.
Why should we hate them?
Because we’re bitter state school people, where they’re hoity-toity UC-ers. We really shouldn’t, though. They graduate the people who make the wine. We shouldn’t hate, but appreciate.
Do they have any famous alumni we can make fun of?
If Yan Can Cook, then we can make fun of him! That’s right, Martin Yan received his masters degree at Davis, which enough for me to qualify him. It could be jealousy at San Diego State’s lack of public television personalities with their own line of cutlery … or it could be a dearth of lamentable alumni from UC Davis. You decide, but this is where we’re going this week.
Will we beat them?
With how much of a regrettably dismissive prick I’ve been in this preview, I certainly hope so.
KABEER THIRTY 