Welcome to the first ever K30 liveblog! In this space we’ll keep you up to date on the goings on in the Valley of the Sun as the San Diego State Aztecs attempt to beat Arizona State in football for the first time … (flips through media guide) … ever?
Ever.
Jeez.
We’ll also be curating/stealing some of the best in-game tweets from YOU THE READER in a pathetic attempt to get you to click on our content. Joke’s on you, friend. You’ve already clicked.
So let’s go, Aztecs. LET’S GO GET NATHAN JUNIOR A WIN OVER ASU!
FIRST QUARTER
Oh hey, we’re getting pre-empted on Pac 12 Network by a blowout involving an FCS team! At least this feels normal.
Oh, hey the game is on. And Rashaad Penny takes the handoff from the shadow of the goal line and takes it for NINETY FIVE PENNIES FOR THE SCORE!!! 7-0 AZTECS! OMGOMGOMG
Arizona State punts for a second consecutive drive! Sun Devil Stadium sounding like a sun-baked tombstone!
The next drive went … not great!
Annnnnnnf ASU hits a huge pass play down to the 1 and scores two plays later on a direct snap to the RB. First quarter ends tied at 7-7. Guess a 69-0 nicing is out of the question.
SECOND QUARTER
AHAHAHAHAHA Rashaad just took the ensuing kickoff 99 yards for a touchdown. He’s pretty good! I’m drunk and I’m only on my first beer! DRUNK ON LIFE!!!
SDSU then forces a three and out and gets the ball back NEAR MIDFIELD. I AM TYPING IN ALL CAPS!
Dammit so much. Fred Trevillion is called for offensive PI to bring back a 53-yard TD. But wait! Penny rumbles into the red zone while they’re droning on about thicc Nick Bawden for some reason.
Dammit so much again!!! A Juwan Washington TD is now called back by a hold. Then Antonio Rosales gets called for a stupid personal four. Neat.
John Baron II, Warden of the South, hammers through a chip shot FG. Could have been much better, dammit.
17-7 AZTECS.
Well shucks. The innovative Sun Devils respond through the air, marching down the field for a Manny Wilkins TD pass. ASU has some damn firepower, folks. Missed opportunity stings even more now.
A promising drive into ASU territory is then stalled by a bad Christian Chapman sack and a dumb penalty (lots of those so far!). SDSU punts it to the 5 with 1:13 left in the half.
ASU goes nowhere and punts with 36 seconds left from its own end zone. AND THE ASU PUNT BRO SHANKS IT TO THE 18!!!
SDSU can only cash in the chip shot Baron FG. 20-14 Aztecs heading into the half. Leads are good, but it feels like it should be 24-7. FRUSTRATING!
THIRD QUARTER
Aztecs force a punt on the first ASU drive, and everything is goin’ great and WHAT THE FUCK QUEST???? Truxton fumbles and ASU runs it back for a TD, wait NO NO NO NO. The replay shows otherwise. Ground caused the fumble and Truxton’s knee was down. Continue breathing folks. Continue breathing.
SDSU then goes 3 and out but the defense gets a TURNOVER ON DOWNS NEAR MIDFIELD!!!
The Aztecs then drove into field goal range only to be stymied by a sack and a penalty dammit and … wait what??? On a 3rd and 15, Chapman dumps it off to Penny who takes it 33 YARDS TO THE HOUSE!!!
Rashaad Penny is possibly the greatest person who has ever existed!!!
OMG!!! On the ensuring Drive, Wilkins fumbles TWICE on the same scramble and SDSU recovers at the ASU 33!! 55 seconds left in the 3rd!
FOURTH QUARTER
Juwan Washington helps the Aztecs march it inside the 10. but the drive stalls.
Never fear, the WARDEN OF THE SOUTH booms it through.
30-14 AZTECS!
ASU fumbles on the ensuing drive, but – naturally – it is negated by an offsides penalty. ALL THE PENALTIES! Two sacks then put the Sun Devils back in their own territory facing a 3rd and 42. Then SDSU jumped offsides. Then ASU’s Wilkins threw a 53-yard TD pass, burning Ron Smith, because of course they did.
Two point failed tho, so it’s still a two-score game with 8 minutes left. Do you feel comfortable?? Oh yeah, I definitely didn’t just pee at all. In the bag, folks.
30-20 Aztecs.
Penny are you fucking kidding me? Facing a 3rd and 14, he takes the handoff and goes 27 yards. A facemask put the Aztecs insdie ASU territory, and a Christian Chapman draw gets SDSU into field goal range with 2:48 to play. Rock opts to GO FOR IT, but the dump off to Penny is sniffed out.
NAIL BITING TIME.
ASU kills a TON of time trying to drive downfield. WTF are they doing?? WHO CARES!! TURNOVER ON DOWNS!! AZTECS WIN 30-20 FOR THEIR FIRST PAC 12 ROAD WIN EVER IN 29 GAMES!!
ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD. GOOD NIGHT, FRIENDS! I LOVE YOU ALL!
KABEER THIRTY 