When I first started writing about the Aztecs in 2011, the Mountain West Conference blogosphere was a sad, dark place. One bright beacon in the wilderness was One Bronco Nation Under God, a group of pretty cool, funny dudes who probably all smell like criss-cut French fries in real life.
Back on the old blog we used to get HELLA LIT for SDSU-Boise State games with a Q&A exchange and a blog bet, where the winner gets a free post on the loser’s blog. Here’s one I wrote over on OBNUG after the 2012 upset on The Blue.
Well, you could imagine how delighted I was when I was contacted by OBNUG’s Russ Wood about reprising our old tradition! Russ was kind enough to answer these questions five about Boise State. Read my answers to his queries here.
Aztecs Killing Him: While 3-2 seems like a stumble from a program with so many Fiestas Bowl under its belt, things at Boise State don’t look *that* bad from the outside. Other than the UVA game, that is. That was dogshit. What do you make of the start? What does the fanbase make of it?
Wood: I think I’m more in the category of “We-gave-the-Washington-State-game-to-them-and-I-carry-a-doggie-bag” type of guy. I am okay with a bad loss every once in awhile; I think it keeps the team hungry and humble. I believe most fans agree with me, but there are a few who think anything other than an undefeated season and a few mentions about playoff inclusion before the voting committee spit-laughs out their caviar and goes with a “real” team warrant firing the coach, taking back scholarships, burning down the stadium and starting over (but keeping the Blue turf, of course.) We still are in the running for the Mountain West title, at least until Air Force comes in running Satan’s Offense.
Has Bryan Harsin blocked you on Twitter yet, and what does the answer to that question say about both him and you?
You know…I don’t know if I’m following him or not. Let me check….
Okay I am. Not blocked yet! But then again, I tweet about once every six months and looking through my tweets just now, I see that apparently my Youtube account is set to publish every video my kids like. (Minecraft seems to be holding a commanding lead!)
…So I would guess this says Bryan Harsin is cool with Minecraft videos.
You wake up on Sunday morning with the worst hangover of your life, reeking of something you will later learn was absinthe. Questions ricochet around your aching brain: Where are you? When are you? And why is it so damned bright? The USA Today slid under the door of your seedy motel room says it’s Sunday. Sunday?? Just then you realize you have no recollection of Saturday. Nothing. WAIT! OH CRAP, THE GAME!! You fumble for your phone, which is clinging to life on 3 percent battery, and in your astonishment you see … celebratory text messages from your Bronco friends. Boise State must have beaten San Diego State! Your phone sputters out before you can see a box score. How do you assume it happened?
I run down to the lobby, which is basically a desk behind which sits a husky woman who still smokes indoors and who wears a shirt with the phrase, “Where’s the Beef?” on it and ask her hurriedly, “What happened in the game last night?” She squints at me and says, “Those losers who call themselves a ‘Bowl Cut Above the Rest’ each rolled over 720 with some lucky pickups in the last few frames! You wanna rub it in, too?!”
Realizing she’s not going to help me, and that I’m well and truly on my own since my phone died (wait…when did I get a phone?), I sit on the curb and try to noodle out the most likely scenario. I’m guessing Boise State figured out how to stop Rashaad Penny from rushing for a quarter million yards (tainted complimentary bologna sandwich before the game?), and put the pressure on Christian Chapman to try and get things going through the air. They must have limited him to short passes by covering all downfield routes and leaving the sure tackling to Leighton “Baby Giraffe” Vander Esch in the short game. Many punts were forced, and Avery Williams finally breaks another punt return free.
Montell Cozart must have played more and kept San Diego’s defense guessing. It’s a close game, surely, since Boise State’s offensive production is not what it used to be, but with a few lucky bounces of the ball, Boise State must have squeaked out the win!
Now tell me what you actually think is going to happen on Saturday.
*Snort! Sorry, I must have blacked out while daydreaming of a Boise State victory. After wiping the drool off my chin, I look up and see a bum picking out a Broncos shirt from the dumpster behind the motel. I realize now why my nipples could cut glass. Someone has drawn an Aztec killing me on my bare chest. Probably me, since it’s upside down. Also, after getting home, I see a wiener on my cheek (Oscar Meyer variety).
I don’t bother looking up the highlights.
Please write an alternate history of what happened after the Aztecs and Broncos jumped to the American Athletic Conference after the 2012 season. #AmericanPow6r
What used to be joked about as the “Big Least” among Power Five conferences has become a force to be reckoned with. The West Division has Boise State who brought in the first NY6 bowl victory for the conference, although they were still snubbed for inclusion in the playoff, because idiots. Navy also has continued to surprise people.
In the East Division, San Diego State has brought in the first Heisman winner after the conference was realigned, because Donnel Pumphrey has broken records against “real” opponents. Rocky Long actually starts getting younger (87!), due to having to fly backward in time to play games.
Charlie Strong has come in and made UCF stronger, making Texas decide they’re going to go ahead and drop down a division out of shame. They join the MWC. The SEC, Big Ten, ACC, Pac-12 and Big 12 decide our teams were good enough to compete all along and expand the playoff to include every conference champ. Cats and Dogs start living together.
*Music selection courtesy of @lawstbrewer.