Well folks, the Aztecs football team did not finish the season as the champions of the Mountain West West Division, and they will not be the champions of the Mountain West Conference. There is no easy, obvious roadmap laid out showing us where, exactly, the Aztecs are likely to end up this bowl season. That allows us the opportunity to create more content help YOU (and us) parse through the bullshit.
Or add more bullshit to the pile.
Whatever, right?
We’ll be rating the games on a scale of 1-5 disillusioned, staring-into-the-middle-distance Rocky Longs. Being that Rocky doesn’t care about the damn bowl games, 5 is bad and 1 is good.
Mountain West-Affiliated Bowl Games
Famous Idaho Potato Bowl
Where: Albertsons Stadium – Boise, Idaho
When: December 22, 1 p.m.
Network: ESPN
Potential Opponent: MAC opponent (Eligible: Akron, Buffalo, Central Michigan, Northern Illinois, Ohio, Toledo, Western Michigan)
Background/Thoughts: The former Humanitarian Bowl was renamed in 2011 to better reflect society’s general apathy toward humanitarian efforts and love of tubers. San Diego State won its only appearance in this game in 2013, a 49-24 win over Buffalo.
Rating: 
Arizona Bowl
Where: Arizona Stadium – Tucson, Arizona
When: December 29, 2:30 p.m.
Network: CBS Sports Network
Potential Opponent: Sun Belt opponent (Eligible: Appalachian State, Arkansas State, Georgia State, Troy)
Background/Thoughts: The Arizona Bowl is entering its third season and is a bowl game. The U-T’s Kirk D. Kenney threw out the possibility of the Arizona Bowl pulling a Pac-12 team into the game, so let’s run with it. Why not?
Rating:
vs. Sun Belt:
vs. Pac-12:
Hawai’i Bowl
Where: Aloha Stadium – Honolulu, Hawai’i
When: December 24, 5:30 p.m.
Network: ESPN
Potential Opponent: AAC opponent (Eligible: Houston, Memphis, Navy, SMU, South Florida, Temple, UCF)
Background/Thoughts: Hawai’i Bowl has existed since 2002, and the Aztecs were 42-7 victors over Cincinnati in their lone appearance in 2015. UCF is almost certainly not playing in this game, and South Florida seems destined to stay in Tampa for their game. Memphis would be fantastic if SDSU ends up here.
Rating:
vs. Memphis
vs. lesser AAC
New Mexico Bowl
Where: Dreamstyle Stadium – Albuquerque, New Mexico
When: December 16, 1:30 p.m.
Network: ESPN
Potential Opponent: CUSA opponent (Eligible: FIU, Florida Atlantic, Louisiana Tech, Marshall, Middle Tennessee, North Texas, Southern Miss, UAB, UTSA, Western Kentucky)
Background/Thoughts: Since 2006, the New Mexico Bowl has existed in the world of bowl games in which bowl eligible teams participate. San Diego State has never played in this game, a streak we’re desperately hoping will continue this year (Editor’s note: uh oh). Rocky Long won the game as New Mexico’s head coach in 2007.
Rating:
Somewhat-affiliated MWC Bowl Games/At-Large
Cactus Bowl
Where: Chase Field – Phoenix, Arizona
When: December 26, 6 p.m.
Network: ESPN
Potential Opponent: Big 12 or Pac-12
Background/Thoughts: This bowl affiliation is provisional, and is based on whether a “more desirable”, bowl-eligible option out of the aforementioned Power 5 conferences can fill the spot. It seems likely both will able to, so we’re probably wasting our time here. However, if so … this game would have SDSU vs. a Power 5 school in a destination San Diegans would be more likely to travel to with the relatively short notice provided by bowl season.
Rating: 
Frisco Bowl
Where: Toyota Stadium – Frisco, Texas
When: December 20, 5 p.m.
Network: ESPN
Potential Opponent: AAC opponent (Eligible: Houston, Memphis, Navy, SMU, South Florida, Temple, UCF)
Background/Thoughts: This is the inaugural Frisco Bowl, so the only history there … is the history to be made. *punches self* Originally dreamed up as a bowl game pitting the AAC vs. Sun Belt, MAC and Sun Belt opponents over the next three seasons, it’s currently an AAC vs. At-Large game. With UCF likely going to the New Year’s Six and South Florida staying in Tampa to play in the Bad Boy Mowers Gasparilla Bowl (this is a real bowl game), Memphis is (again) the most desirable opponent for San Diego State out of the AAC. This game would continue the tradition of taking a San Diego football team and having them play in an MLS stadium.
Rating:
vs. Memphis
vs. other
Foster Farms Bowl
Where: Levi’s Stadium – Santa Clara, Calif.
When: December 27, 5:30 p.m.
Network: FOX
Potential Opponent: Pac-12 or Big Ten
Background/Thoughts: The Foster Farms Bowl used to be known as the Diamond Walnut San Francisco Bowl, Emerald Bowl and Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl when it took place at Pac Bell Park/SBC Park/AT&T Park. Now, it’s sponsored by a chicken company and takes place at Levi’s Stadium – inexplicable home to way too many large events for the billion-dollar shithole that it is.
Anyway, like the Cactus Bowl, this is a provisional game. That said, the Big Ten isn’t going to have enough bowl-eligible teams to cover their tie-in games, allowing a team like San Diego State to jump in the mix. Washington State seems to be the consensus pick from the Pac-12, and their opponent is a projected grab bag. NBC has San Diego State going here, and that would be tremendous.
Pac-12 opponent, easy travel and a prime time game on a major network? This is the game we want. Give us this game.
Rating:
…
They’re not going to give us this game, are they?
KABEER THIRTY 