It all came down to one final shot — an off-balance prayer that had the entire city of San Diego on the edge of its collective seat. The attempt was true, rattling home and sending the raucous crowd at Viejas Arena into hysterics.
Red Panda had done it.
Five bowls, flipped onto her head from atop a god damn unicycle.
Editor’s note: Why write an entirely new post about a legit SDSU Heisman candidate getting snubbed for a trip to New York when a perfectly good template already exists?
We now go live to the announcement of the 2016 2017 Heisman Trophy finalists!
Here’s the thing.
I think we had all resigned ourselves by now to the fact that D.J. PumphreyRashaad Penny was not going to win the Heisman Trophy. Despite the monster numbers, the assault on the all-time rushing mark leading FBS in rushing and all-purpose yardage and the bigass banner hanging on the west end of campus OK maybe there should have been a banner, #Pumphrey4Heisman #Penny4Heisman was always a bit of a Potemkin village. We all saw what happened to Marshall and D.J.
But I think we held out hope that D.J. Rashaad could at least make it to New York — to get a free chicken dinner, a memory to last a lifetime and a nice photo op for both him and San Diego State University.
Wellllll, guess what? The Lords of College Football couldn’t even let us have that.
There are the guys who step in on Day 1 looking like grown-ass men, able to easily get a role as an extra in the kind of pro basketball movie that stars either a Wayans brother, a golden retriever or both. Matt Mitchell or Tim Shelton circa 2007 are great examples of this.
Then there are the guys who would definitely get their IDs thoroughly scrutinized were they ever to attempt to buy a pack of smokes. Even after a redshirt season, wiry 6-10 forward Jalen McDaniels definitely falls into this category.
Every time I see McDaniels on the court, I’m struck with the strangely maternal urge to go home and bake him a pie. Eat, eat, Jalen – you’re skin and bones!
(Note: I will not actually do this. Not only should Jalen not accept homemade pastries from strange bearded men, it’s also the kind of NCAA infraction that would get a mid-major program the death penalty.)
Yet McDaniels is starting to show signs that his game is more mature than his physique might lead you to believe. In a couple of productive performances at the Wooden Legacy last weekend, McDaniels looked like a useful reserve. In the Aztecs’ 75-52 home win over Bradley Sunday afternoon, he looked like a weapon.
A few hours ago, we were all getting righteously excited about a bowl game named after CAFO chickens that’s played in a boondoggle stadium in the Bay Area’s most boring suburb. I suppose when you are San Diego State University of the Mountain West Conference, even those modest dreams are too much to ask for.
Oh, also a bowl game in a soccer stadium against SMU is also too much to ask for.
And a game in Birmingham, Alabama in the only FBS stadium crumbling more rapidly than the Aztecs’ venerable home.
After an entire morning and early afternoon of confusion and frustration and FLAILING RAGE that probably ruined your Sunday as much as it did mine and my family’s, SDSU was finally handed a consolation landing spot in the Armed Forces Bowl in Fort Worth, Texas against Army. The game will be played on Saturday, Dec. 23 at 12:30 p.m. Pacific. The game will be on ESPN, which is important to know because you are definitely not going to attend.
For God so loved the world that he gave us this, the annual men’s basketball game between San Diego State University and the University of San Diego. And for the 31st time in 49 meetings His glory shined brightest among the wicked. The secular, publicly-educated Aztecs beat the papist USD Toreros 66-57 at the Jenny.
Jenny Craig, patron saint of diet-conscious wine moms, has a nice little crib over there in Linda Vista. The team, staff and students are unfailingly polite, plus they’re all like pre-law or a future bank officer from somewhere you’ll need a loan. It almost takes the fun out of housing them every* year.
Lord knows it ain’t really much fun. With the Aztecs a perennial contender and USD still finding its way in its post- point-shaving scandal years, the “city championship” series is almost all downside for SDSU. If they win it’s expected, if they lose it’s a disaster. San Diego State is now 11-0 in their last 11 series meetings played indoors and we shan’t mention that other time.