Happy new renderings day! Here’s what we learned

Aztecs football once again rolled up the rusty steel shutters to San Diego’s crumbling brutalist sports-tomb on Saturday afternoon, offering fans a chance to watch a Juwan Washington-less scrimmage and purchase phased out merchandise at a discount before it winds up on a TJ Maxx clearance rack next week. This year’s Fan Fest, however, also provided something exciting — a look into the (hopefully) not-too-distant future, when we all lavishly bask in the spoils of a victorious Battle For Mission Valley.

Fancy new renderings adorned the View level escalator near Gate E, providing fans the opportunity to filter past and look upon them in wonder, as though they were the Dead Sea Scrolls or the preserved body of V. I. Lenin. Here, comrades, have a look:

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Ah yeah, that’s the stuff.

The new watercolors, which replace the blah Populous renderings from Measure G, are by architect Gensler.  You might remember them from such previous Mission Valley renderings as SoccerCity’s proposed stadium. Kudos to Gensler for playing all sides and generally improving on the original vision considerably.

But what did we learn from these purty pictures, you ask?

Here’s the view from the north end zone, facing the new campus buildings and the trolley tracks.

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A few notes on this angle:

  • The team will enter the field from its locker room behind the sideline, similar to the Wolverines at Michigan Stadium. Presumably the other team will enter from the tunnel by the student section, likely to a hail of giveaway mouse pads, which will still be all the rage by 2022.

  • While the visiting sideline looks pretty similar to the preliminary rendering, the home sideline has added a third deck to what once was two decks and a big press box/suites tower. It now looks more like a baby NFL stadium than either a Group of Five or — frankly — an MLS venue. Curious how soccer honks will react to this.
  • Here’s the part where I tell you that I’ve seen MORE than what SDSU released today. See, I am a very important blogger with very connected sources who LEAKED ILLICIT RENDERINGS to me via secure channels. I’ve sworn to keep them secret, but what I can tell you is that some pretty interesting features aren’t really visible. Just know that there is a quite a bit going on in this corner here.

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Here be your pyramid accents, scoreboard party space and a cool access point to the trolley stop that will allow students to more easily leave the game at halftime make it to their seats by kickoff. Stay tuned for that.

As for some cool details we can see? Well, there’s these party piers.

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Say so long to pop-up-tent cabanas and hello to the deck of the Carnival cruise ship Fantasy. Also, if there’s ever a rain and wind game, I’m gonna be nowhere near that damn palm tree. Falling palm crowns crush cars in my neighborhood on a bi-annual basis. I’m not getting crushed to death under 600 pounds of fronds and rats while trying to watch a mid November game against 3-7 Wyoming. Palm trees suck ass.

Speaking of premium seating, I’m going to need to talk a little bit about Renderings People again. Because the denizens of the stadium’s club and suite level are … something.

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These people in the northwest end zone are sitting on what appear to be Adirondack chairs, while three unfortunate souls frozen in carbonite are suspended above them. Tough scene.

Enhance!

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We’ve got:

  • A guy dressed in a bow tie, formal shorts and knee socks surrounded by beautiful models, one of whom happens to also be a Lufthansa flight attendant.
  • A young woman (possibly Grimes?) exulting after perfecting a beat on her laptop
  • Chalky White from Boardwalk Empire minding his own damn business

And to their left:

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  • A yuppie couple wearing sunglasses to a night game.
  • A woman sitting crisscross applesauce throwing a damn fit over being seated next to Mark Cuban. Understandably.
  • Pink Shirt Guy on a first date that is not going well at all.

Now let’s see what fresh hell awaits us on the suite level.

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This is what happens when you Google image search “what is Del Mar like?” or “Donald Trump Jr. vacation.”

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LOL. I’m sorry, people who look like this have never nor will ever attend a college football game. It’s one of the best things about college football, honestly.

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I’m, uh, starting to think there are some duplicates here. Also, the woman in white has the 100% proper reaction to hanging out with Martha Stewart. Snoop must be in the bathroom or something.

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Give Pink Shirt Guy credit. His date may have ended badly, but at least he got an invite to bingo.

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Man, shit is popping off in the Casa de Manana box.

Speaking of revelry …

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My god.

What have we done?

Who are we about to become?

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Author: Aztecs Killing Him

Former proprietor of AztecsKillingHim dot com, a long-dead SDSU sports blog that was possibly dumber even than this one. On Twitter at @akh_blog.

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