Another San Diego State Aztecs football season kicks off this Saturday against an FCS team that is … probably quite a bit better than we wish it was! Weber State’s pesky competence is sure to provide some pregame nerves to unsettle our stomachs — even before they endure their typical pregame tailgate onslaught of Fireball and processed cheese food. Drink kombucha now, friends. It’s going to be ugly.
To prepare your SOUL for the start of a new campaign, our staff spent about 20 minutes plopping ideas into Twitter DMs painstakingly compiled this list of the Top 10 reasons to be excited for the upcoming season. Behold!
10. Kyahva Tezino
Tezino is really, really good and will soon be playing on Sundays. The defensive line and secondary are both a bit unsettled going into the season, but the defense should be fine overall with 44 roaming the middle. Enjoy this dude. He might be the best linebacker in SDSU history.
— lemonverbena
9. The heir to the throne
SDSU has a pretty solid recent history of having one linebacker on the team who is both quicker and meaner than everyone else on the field. Kirk Morrison, Miles Burris, Calvin Munson. Tezino is that guy now, but this year we’ll also get to watch the anointed one — Michael Shawcroft, a true freshman who Rocky Long is so high on that he knows his name and possibly even speaks to him! Get used to seeing him now. He sounds terrifying.
— Aztecs Killing Him
8. The Poinsettia Bowl is back, baby!
Well, not really — but kind of! That’s basically what the season-ending matchup with BYU is going to feel like. This is also the blackout game, creating a pretty apropos yin/yang contrast with the thousands of pasty BYU fans (plus Senator Romney??) who will wear white Y-logo polos and absolutely gleaming smug grins because, well, it’s a day. This is even a rematch of the 2012 Poinsettia that was tragically cancelled after a blimp hit the Qualcomm light ring and burst into flames, with the smoldering wreckage landing on poor Adam Dingwell who tragically remains missing. We will never forget.
— Aztecs Killing Him
7. No, really … BYU!
Fuck, man. Honestly the way last year ended took a lot out of me. We’re kinda in this lull between the Penny/Pumphrey glory days and getting a new stadium. I gotta be honest, I’m just not super excit- OH HOLY SHIT I FORGOT WE GET BYU AT HOME TO END THE YEAR. THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT FOOTBALL SEASON WE’VE EVER HAD. I SEE NO WAY WE’RE NOT UNDEFEATED HEADING INTO THAT GAME. GAMEDAY AND NY6 HERE WE COME.
— AttemptedChem
6. Roderick J. “Rocky” Long Jr.
After 11, 11, and 10 win seasons, some great bowl wins and national rankings, the Aztecs crashed to earth last year with four straight losses and an ugly 27-0 horror show to fucking Ohio in a garbage bowl game. Rock ain’t gonna take that shit. He installed a whole new offense, ended music at practice and cranked up the physical conditioning, and says the guys have responded well. Rocky is a goddamn folk hero and I’ll always be excited for a season while he’s still here.
— lemonverbena
5. Pasadena
We get to play a probably shitty UCLA team in a day game at the Rose Bowl in a game where essentially every Aztec fan in SoCal will be attending. That dude who lived on your floor freshman year and comes to one game every three years will be there. He brought a case of White Claw and bought a new electric grill which he will spend two hours assembling before making 25 hot dogs for the 4 people at his tailgate. He’s wearing a giveaway shirt from 2008. This is all fine. He’s fine.
— AttemptedChem
4. Ryan Agnew in the spread offense
The Texas Kid was plugged in on the fly when Chapman got his knee crunched in last year’s FCS home opener. Agnew was a little shaky at times but flashed skills going 6-1 as a starter. This is his team now and he’s a great fit for the spread. Minus sacks, Ry Ry rushed for 287 yards on 39 carries (7.4 ypc). Brionne Penny hasn’t cracked the two-deep yet at receiver but I’m excited to see any touches ol’ coach Horton dials up for him. Keep an eye on walk-on redshirt freshman Jesse Matthews, a scout team hero who hustled his way into a starting WR spot.
— lemonverbena
3. Tailgating while we can
You can’t drink at the beach in San Diego. You can’t drink at most parks. I can’t even drink a 40 oz. in my neighbor’s driveway anymore without that dick Steve calling up the NANNY STATE. But you can still drink five Four Loko seltzers and pass out against a porta-potty in the largest parking lot west of the Mississippi! At least for now (Measure G stood for gentrification smh). Cherish these times.
— Aztecs Killing Him
2. Juwan Washington
Will he, like D.J. Pumphrey and Rashaad Penny before him, use his senior season to become one of the best running backs in the nation? Probably not! Those two guys were crazy fuckin’ good! But maybe.
— AttemptedChem
1. These are my reasons:
Enjoy the football. Go Tecs.
KABEER THIRTY 