Seahawks draft Rashaad Penny 27th overall, completely blow minds

What do you call it when something good happens? Like, something that’s not the bad or mediocre thing you suspected would happen? I’m having a hard time even processing the reality that Rashaad Penny is a Seahawk. This is my face:

Edward Louis Severson III, exultant.

As we all know, Penny is a person of high character and a hell of a running back. The Seahawks are a running team that really needs a running back!

Continue reading “Seahawks draft Rashaad Penny 27th overall, completely blow minds”

Advertisements

Armed Forces Bowl Recap: Penny’s epic swan song wasted in stupid loss to Army

San Diego State football has given its fans so much these past seven seasons; things that we never dared imagine a decade ago. Seven bowl appearances. Four wins vs. Pac-12 teams, including three in a row. Appearances in the rankings and the expectation that the Aztecs should be nationally respectable every single year.

Saturday, San Diego State football decided to give some stuff away. The Armed Forces Bowl. A potential Top-25 ranking. A storybook ending to Rashaad Penny’s incredible Aztecs career.

IT WAS NOT PARTICULARLY ENJOYABLE.

Fuckin’ ay, DJ. Fuckin’. Ay.

Army beat the Aztecs 42-35, the final score owing to some final play silliness. But really it was a two-point conversion capping off a 5-minute drive that gave the Black Knights the 1-point winning margin. It was a methodical, excruciating, seemingly inevitable go-ahead TD march.

One that never should have been allowed to occur.

Continue reading “Armed Forces Bowl Recap: Penny’s epic swan song wasted in stupid loss to Army”

Revisiting each of Rashaad Penny’s 48 career touchdowns

Rashaad Penny has scored 48 touchdowns in his San Diego State football career, which seems like a lot even without any context.

Now consider he scored zero as a freshman, when he rarely saw the field.

Then he was a third-string running back behind two 1,000-yard rushers as a sophomore.

Then he was a backup to a 2,000-yard rusher as a junior.

Forty eight damn touchdowns.

qk3sx8f

The “how” is that Rashaad Penny is a touchdown-scoring freak who rains destruction and misery upon all who stand in his way. He has shown the ability to wreck fools in every way imaginable.

Continue reading “Revisiting each of Rashaad Penny’s 48 career touchdowns”

A Bowl Season Rooting Guide for Aztec fans

Guns up or whatever.

So the football regular season didn’t go the way we expected. For better and for worse.

The San Diego State football team started the year 6-0, including wins against pretty good ASU and NIU and an upset of a Stanford team that went on to win the Pac-12 North.

Then what happened?

Continue reading “A Bowl Season Rooting Guide for Aztec fans”

On Marshall Faulk

One of the most disturbing things the #metoo movement has uncovered in the past several weeks — besides all those disgusting creepers, that is — is the way we’re often prone to selective outrage based on our tribal affiliations. Scroll through Politics Twitter (note: do not scroll through Politics Twitter) and you’ll see people doing the mental gymnastics necessary to develop seemingly conflicting takes depending on the party of the accused — all in the name of their side “winning.”

Sports fandom is equally fertile ground for this kind of tortured thinking. We wrap up our identities in the exploits of people we think we know, but don’t really know, leading otherwise reasonable people to excuse and openly cheer for deeply flawed people accused of all manner of terrible misdeeds.

We’re not going to do that here.

Continue reading “On Marshall Faulk”

National media rightfully honors Penny, unjustly dirties Rocky

With the Armed Forces Bowl still nearly two weeks away, San Diego State football got some national publicity today on a couple of fronts. Half of it was even good!

We start with Rashaad Penny. Fresh off a fifth-place finish in the Heisman Trophy voting, the nation’s top yardage-accumulator actually received a non-snub* from the Associated Press.

Continue reading “National media rightfully honors Penny, unjustly dirties Rocky”

They couldn’t even let us have this (remix)

Editor’s note: Why write an entirely new post about a legit SDSU Heisman candidate getting snubbed for a trip to New York when a perfectly good template already exists?

We now go live to the announcement of the 2016 2017 Heisman Trophy finalists!

pigs-bmp-for-web

Here’s the thing.

I think we had all resigned ourselves by now to the fact that D.J. Pumphrey  Rashaad Penny was not going to win the Heisman Trophy. Despite the monster numbers, the assault on the all-time rushing mark leading FBS in rushing and all-purpose yardage and the bigass banner hanging on the west end of campus OK maybe there should have been a banner, #Pumphrey4Heisman #Penny4Heisman was always a bit of a Potemkin village. We all saw what happened to Marshall and D.J.

But I think we held out hope that D.J. Rashaad could at least make it to New York — to get a free chicken dinner, a memory to last a lifetime and a nice photo op for both him and San Diego State University.

Wellllll, guess what? The Lords of College Football couldn’t even let us have that.

Continue reading “They couldn’t even let us have this (remix)”

Aztecs get shipped off to military school despite 10-2 season

disrespect

A few hours ago, we were all getting righteously excited about a bowl game named after CAFO chickens that’s played in a boondoggle stadium in the Bay Area’s most boring suburb. I suppose when you are San Diego State University of the Mountain West Conference, even those modest dreams are too much to ask for.

Oh, also a bowl game in a soccer stadium against SMU is also too much to ask for.

And a game in Birmingham, Alabama in the only FBS stadium crumbling more rapidly than the Aztecs’ venerable home.

After an entire morning and early afternoon of confusion and frustration and FLAILING RAGE that probably ruined your Sunday as much as it did mine and my family’s, SDSU was finally handed a consolation landing spot in the Armed Forces Bowl in Fort Worth, Texas against Army. The game will be played on Saturday, Dec. 23 at 12:30 p.m. Pacific. The game will be on ESPN, which is important to know because you are definitely not going to attend.

Continue reading “Aztecs get shipped off to military school despite 10-2 season”