A Bowl Season Rooting Guide for Aztec fans

Guns up or whatever.

So the football regular season didn’t go the way we expected. For better and for worse.

The San Diego State football team started the year 6-0, including wins against pretty good ASU and NIU and an upset of a Stanford team that went on to win the Pac-12 North.

Then what happened?

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Aztecs get shipped off to military school despite 10-2 season

disrespect

A few hours ago, we were all getting righteously excited about a bowl game named after CAFO chickens that’s played in a boondoggle stadium in the Bay Area’s most boring suburb. I suppose when you are San Diego State University of the Mountain West Conference, even those modest dreams are too much to ask for.

Oh, also a bowl game in a soccer stadium against SMU is also too much to ask for.

And a game in Birmingham, Alabama in the only FBS stadium crumbling more rapidly than the Aztecs’ venerable home.

After an entire morning and early afternoon of confusion and frustration and FLAILING RAGE that probably ruined your Sunday as much as it did mine and my family’s, SDSU was finally handed a consolation landing spot in the Armed Forces Bowl in Fort Worth, Texas against Army. The game will be played on Saturday, Dec. 23 at 12:30 p.m. Pacific. The game will be on ESPN, which is important to know because you are definitely not going to attend.

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A Bowl Game Thing: Ranking SDSU’s possible destinations

Get lit for the chicken bowl, y’all.

Well folks, the Aztecs football team did not finish the season as the champions of the Mountain West West Division, and they will not be the champions of the Mountain West Conference. There is no easy, obvious roadmap laid out showing us where, exactly, the Aztecs are likely to end up this bowl season. That allows us the opportunity to create more content help YOU (and us) parse through the bullshit.

Or add more bullshit to the pile.

Whatever, right?

We’ll be rating the games on a scale of 1-5 disillusioned, staring-into-the-middle-distance Rocky Longs. Being that Rocky doesn’t care about the damn bowl games, 5 is bad and 1 is good.

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We won’t have the Poinsettia Bowl to kick around anymore

poinsettia-bowl

Bad news about San Diego’s most lower-tier, MWC-affiliated, toxic-to-pets bowl game.

Now, many Aztec fans (myself, included) have been known to poke fun at the annual mid-December showcase of Group of 5 mediocrity. Indeed, with the exception of 2010, a drought-breaking year in which a trip to literally any bowl game would have been greeted with the unbridled enthusiasm of a monarch’s coronation, the thought of the Poinsettia was always a drag for us. It was a consolation prize in which we’d play a meh opponent in our shitty home stadium and pay exorbitant bowl game prices to do so.

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Didn’t make the trip to Vegas? Here’s what you missed

 

lord

HOLY SHIT WE REALLY WON THAT GAME

Sorry, I just got home from Vegas three days ago and am still adjusting to normal life, where drinking while crossing the street is frowned upon and $25 is a measurable amount of money and basic human dignity exists.

But forget about the debauchery and the [NUMBER REDACTED] dollars I lost at video roulette. The Aztecs won a game! On national TV! Against a really good team! And set some insane records! What even is life as an Aztec fan right now?

Let’s start at the beginning.

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The Mountain West must do whatever it takes to keep its champion from a bowl matchup with a losing team (UPDATED)

motel6cactusbowl

Craig Thompson is kind of an easy target for lazy, pot-shot-loving bloggers like me. As Mountain West commissioner, he’s given us lots of ammunition; from the sad TV deal to the evisceration of the conference via expansion (and back-filling with San Jose State) to the fact that two Mountain West teams faced each other in a bowl game streamed online last year.

All that said, he probably gets a bad rap overall. Thompson can only play the hand he’s been dealt and, for the last several years of his tenure, that hand has included two Garbage Pail Kids and a Starbucks gift card with $1.75 left on it.

However there is something brewing that, if it comes to pass, we should all rightfully roast him for.

Continue reading “The Mountain West must do whatever it takes to keep its champion from a bowl matchup with a losing team (UPDATED)”