You were wrong when you said everything’s gonna be all right

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The Aztecs men’s basketball team took a trip to Taco Bell on Saturday night and it went about as well as you might expect. It started out pretty tasty, but ended up with us all doubled over in pain and weeping on the toilet.

Look, I know. I’m sorry.

I should really feel worse about going with the hackneyed LOL TACO BELL ARENA joke as my lede, but I just don’t. Sure it’s lazy and cheap and unimaginative, but did this game – does this team – really deserve any more effort than that?

Also I’ve consumed several beers.

Continue reading “You were wrong when you said everything’s gonna be all right”

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Matchsticks and other inspiring items eaten by Mountain West hoops coaches

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The San Diego State Aztecs men’s hoops team will face the Boise State Broncos on Saturday night in Boise. It figures to be a tough game considering even vintage SDSU teams have had trouble at Taco Bell Arena and this team is … uh … less than vintage.

But I’m not here to talk about that (thank god). I’m here to talk about this.

That is Boise State head coach Leon Rice talking about eating a book of matches to inspire his team to a win over Colorado State. Gross!

Continue reading “Matchsticks and other inspiring items eaten by Mountain West hoops coaches”

Aztecs lose to Nevada, aren’t playing well, might never win again

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An oft-cited truism holds that “cellar door” is the most beautiful phrase in the English language. “Cellar dweller” on the other hand, while a pleasant rhyme, is an altogether depressing concept.

With this 72-69 loss to Nevada-Reno, the San Diego State men’s basketballing Aztecs are presently dwelling in the cellar. They are 0-2 in conference play, 8-6 overall and winless on the road. At this rate they’ll need to win in the play-in round of the conference tournament to even get into the tournament proper.

These things aren’t supposed to happen to this program. Remember the Sweet Sixteens? Blue-chip recruiting classes, running Cali, bullying the Mountain West? That image is fading. If you bump into Coach Fisher on campus, maybe ask if he’s handing out free tickets. (Don’t do that.)

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Aztecs ensure great deals for secondary market ticket buyers, lose to New Mexico

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One game into the the Mountain West slate, and the San Diego State men’s basketball season is already a fully engulfed tire fire. I’m not sure whether to weep or just be grateful I never got the chance to really invest myself in this lost cause.

Thanks, I guess?

I don’t know, maybe that’s a little too harsh. But in the wake of the Aztecs’ disheartening 68-62 loss at Viejas on Sunday to an extremely meh New Mexico squad, I don’t think it is.

Continue reading “Aztecs ensure great deals for secondary market ticket buyers, lose to New Mexico”

New Year’s Resolutions for the Mountain West

The New Year is upon it, and with it comes a renewed sense optimism for all – even members of the Mountain West Conference. Well, everyone except San Jose State.

Poor, sad, pathetic, idiot San Jose State.

But there’s hope for the rest of us! Here are the New Year’s Resolutions for 2017 from around the Mountain West.

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BREAKING: Group of Five officials might be dumb as hell

Welcome back from the holiday break! Did you get all the presents you asked for? No?

Well, just in case you’re bummed that you didn’t find a shiny new GARBAGE IDEA in your stocking, today’s college football rumor mill has you covered:

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!

Oh my god.

Continue reading “BREAKING: Group of Five officials might be dumb as hell”

HAPPY HOETZEL-DAYS FROM KABEER THIRTY!

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IMPORTANT PROGRAMMING NOTE: Since we at Kabeer Thirty have families and friends and pets (it’s true I swear!) there will be no posts in this space from now through the Christmas Holiday.

Unfortunately that means no coverage of men’s hoops’ three games in the Diamondhead Classic – a critical stretch that will determine if the Aztecs have no hope for an NCAA at-large bid, or if they really, really have no hope for an NCAA at-large bid. It should be interesting to see which it will be.

If you must know the outcomes of these contests, I recommend calling the Mighty 1090 every 10 minutes until someone picks up. Just keep at it, someone eventually will. Then demand to talk to your Uncle Teddy. Writing letters to Mark Zeigler is another option, though that may take longer.

Happy Hoetzel-days to you and yours!