Tag: Depressing things

Game Preview: Hawai’i at Aztecs

What: Football game
Who: Hawai’i Rainbow Warriors at San Diego State Aztecs
When: 7:30 p.m. Saturday
Where: SDCCU Stadium
TV: ESPNU
Line: SDSU -17.5

The Stakes
At first glance, this appears to be a meaningless play-out-the-string game before a meaningless lower-tier bowl game. Turns out, the full picture is even more depressing! With a likely overflow of bowl-eligible teams and the Mountain West possibly having seven eligible teams for its five (mostly lousy) bowl tie-ins, SDSU likely needs to win its eighth game to be sure of bring invited to a meaningless lower-tier bowl game. You’ve got to work for that trip to the Gildan New Mexico Bowl, kids!

If they lose? The Aztecs might need a few things to break their way for the season to not end in ignominious fashion. In short: DEATH TO ALL 5-WIN TEAMS.

Also, maybe don’t lose.

Continue reading “Game Preview: Hawai’i at Aztecs”

OH NOES: Washington to miss six weeks with fractured clavicle

Rocky Long is many things to many people. Defensive mastermind. GTO-driving internet meme. Patron Saint of Ocean Beach philosophers. He is not, it turns out, a licensed medical doctor.

Long sounded reassuringly calm about star running back Juwan Washington’s injury after Saturday night’s win over Eastern Michigan, saying he didn’t think it was too serious despite the fact that Washington spent the second half with his arm in a sling.  Last night, we learned that calming prognosis was overly optimistic.

It’s fine. Remain calm. I’m still calm.

Calmer than you are.

Continue reading “OH NOES: Washington to miss six weeks with fractured clavicle”

Welcome To Loserville

Aztecs men’s basketball has been a constant in our lives for the last decade and a half. Roughly. There have been ups and downs, but for the latter portion of that stretch, we’ve seen a large amount of success. We’re not used to the kind of utterly hopeless season we’re looking at right now.

Okay, I am. It’s why I’m writing this.

Would you guess that many San Diego State students and alumni did not, in fact, grow up in San Diego? This means they’ve likely seen their team win something. I haven’t. I grew up in San Diego. I love an (historically) incredibly inept baseball team and used to love an even more inept football team.

When we here at the Kabeer Thirty Labs had the idea of how to cover a “lost” season, @lemonverbena_ yelled “SEA” at nobody in particular, @AttemptedChem did that thumb pointing thing to the back of a Tim Salmon shirsey and @AKH_blog showed me three makeshift World Series championship rings and “4TNI NERZ” knuckle tattoos. We like @jodes0405 way too much to put her through the ringer, so I was tasked with torturing my soul once again.

So I’m here to offer you a few strategies for enduring this hoops season like a true San Diego sports fan.

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Game Recap: Aztecs lose Oil Can, pitch season into garbage can

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Here is a list of things the San Diego State football team did not do during its 27-3 loss to Fresno State on Saturday night at SDCCU Stadium:

/cracks knuckles

Continue reading “Game Recap: Aztecs lose Oil Can, pitch season into garbage can”

Aztecs lose Pope, fill their airsick bags with semi-digested 3 point attempts at Air Force

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What follows is a list of things that went poorly in San Diego State’s 60-57 loss at Air Force on Tuesday night:

  • Malik Pope broke again and may be out for a spell.
  • SDSU blew a 14-point lead and lost a game it trailed for, like, two minutes.
  • The team the Aztecs lost to is real bad, even when adjusting for Mountain West.
  • The Aztecs keep shooting 3s like that is a thing they can do (note: they cannot).
  • SDSU fell to 0-5 in close games this season, which … man.
  • Jeremy Hemsley and Trey Kell and Zylan Cheatham, generally.

Now, in the interest of providing alternative facts, here are some things that went well tonight:

Continue reading “Aztecs lose Pope, fill their airsick bags with semi-digested 3 point attempts at Air Force”