AZTECS ALUMNI REPORT: DJ Pumphrey is going to be in a thing called a ‘pony set’ which is somehow even sexier than it sounds

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The Philadelphia Eagles have some big plans for Donnel Pumphrey. It seems the rookie is going to be utilized in something called a “pony set”.


A PONY. SET. FOLKS.

/fans self

Continue reading “AZTECS ALUMNI REPORT: DJ Pumphrey is going to be in a thing called a ‘pony set’ which is somehow even sexier than it sounds”

AZTECS ALUMNI REPORT: The Golden State Warriors are history’s greatest monsters

The Golden State Warriors want me dead. They tried to kill me through mind-numblingly inept and boring basketball when I was teenager in the Bay Area in the 1990s. Fortunately, I managed to survive those bleak years of Donyell Marshall and Todd Fuller by developing a lifelong apathy toward the NBA.

Naturally, now that I’ve been shaken from my apathy by a San Diego State alumnus achieving superstar status, the Warriors are coming for my ass again.

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AZTECS ALUMNI REPORT: North County erects statue to an Aztec legend and it’s somehow not Tom Craft (?)

Your weekly roundup of SDSU alumni in the ranks of professional sports or wherever:

Tony Gwynn statue
The Tony Gwynn statue has arrived in Poway.

I have no joke for this; it’s just v. cool and good.

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Other pictures of people in hats that will offend and disgust you

Last night, Aztecs Twitter had a near meltdown and it had nothing to do with the embarrassing hoops loss to Fresno State. Nope, it seems Donnel Pumphrey wore a ballcap to the basketball game.

Prepare to clutch your pearls.

Some people got really mad about this! Mad enough to furiously @ him to the point where THE NEXT DAY Pumphrey still felt the need to defend  himself on Instagram. Seriously, people, what are we doing here?

My take is that D.J. is an SDSU legend and he can wear whatever gosh darn hat he wishes. He owes us no apologies or explanations and we should like it or lump it and, either way, keep our opinions to ourselves. And the guy writing this? He’s a Giants fan* who thinks that hat is pure trash woven by demons in the depths of hell.

Anyway, to take some heat off of Pumphrey, I’ve decided to present some photos of SDSU and SDSU-related people wearing hats that will make you EVEN MADDER! Here goes.

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So you wasted your Wednesday night

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Here are a few things you could have been watching at 8 p.m. on Wednesday night instead of the San Diego State men’s basketball team’s 63-55 home loss to Fresno State.

ABC: The Goldbergs
“So Swayze It’s Crazy”

After Adam sees his friend on television, he asks Beverly for her help to become an actor, so Beverly enlists his friend’s mom Edie, who is a kid talent agent in town. Unfortunately, Edie insists Adam can only get “nerd” roles, so Beverly goes on a quest to make Adam a teenage heartthrob. Meanwhile, Barry decides to embrace the punk lifestyle, and Murray attempts to become more involved in Erica’s life, but it backfires.

This definitely does not seem like a television show that traffics in cheap stereotypes, no sir. Let’s see, what else?

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Didn’t make the trip to Vegas? Here’s what you missed

 

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HOLY SHIT WE REALLY WON THAT GAME

Sorry, I just got home from Vegas three days ago and am still adjusting to normal life, where drinking while crossing the street is frowned upon and $25 is a measurable amount of money and basic human dignity exists.

But forget about the debauchery and the [NUMBER REDACTED] dollars I lost at video roulette. The Aztecs won a game! On national TV! Against a really good team! And set some insane records! What even is life as an Aztec fan right now?

Let’s start at the beginning.

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The Pumphrey years at SDSU: A retrospective in tweet form

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52 months ago, Donnel Pumphrey pulled out his DROID RAZR MAXX and composed the following message.

Zero people favorited this tweet at the time. Feel free to go back and like it now, though. I’ll wait.

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The best wins of the Rocky Long Era; a vitally important elimination tournament (ROUND 2)

boise

We are on the the Final Four Five in our elimination tournament of best wins of the Rocky Long era. Countless dozens of votes (OK, four dozen) flooded in during the first round, giving us a higher turnout than most A.S. elections. We ended up with three blowouts and a tie! Check out the results here.

As a result of the deadlock, we will now have a three-way cage match between Scared Money Don’t Make No Money and the 2015 and 2016 MWC Championship Games.

In the other semifinal, you most now decide what’s cooler: beating Boise on The Blue or beating Cal at the Q?

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They couldn’t even let us have this

We now go live to the announcement of the 2016 Heisman Trophy finalists!

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Here’s the thing.

I think we had all resigned ourselves by now to the fact that D.J. Pumphrey was not going to win the Heisman Trophy. Despite the monster numbers, the assault on the all-time rushing mark and the bigass banner hanging on the west end of campus, #Pumphrey4Heisman was always a bit of a Potemkin village. We all saw what happened to Marshall.

But I think we held out hope that D.J. could at least make it to New York – to get a free chicken dinner, a memory to last a lifetime and a nice photo op for both him and San Diego State University.

Wellllll, guess what? The Lords of College Football couldn’t even let us have that.

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The best wins of the Rocky Long Era; a vitally important elimination tournament (ROUND 1)

 

2015mwchamps

San Diego State’s footballing win in the Mountain West Conference championship game Saturday marked the 53rd victory in Rocky Long’s six years as head coach of the Aztecs.

Was it his best one yet?

Since we are a society that obsessed with ranking/arguing about anything and everything (and since we are a dumb blog grasping for ideas on a bye week before a bowl game) I decided to put together an Elite 8 tournament of best wins of the Rocky Long era.

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