Aztecs get shipped off to military school despite 10-2 season

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A few hours ago, we were all getting righteously excited about a bowl game named after CAFO chickens that’s played in a boondoggle stadium in the Bay Area’s most boring suburb. I suppose when you are San Diego State University of the Mountain West Conference, even those modest dreams are too much to ask for.

Oh, also a bowl game in a soccer stadium against SMU is also too much to ask for.

And a game in Birmingham, Alabama in the only FBS stadium crumbling more rapidly than the Aztecs’ venerable home.

After an entire morning and early afternoon of confusion and frustration and FLAILING RAGE that probably ruined your Sunday as much as it did mine and my family’s, SDSU was finally handed a consolation landing spot in the Armed Forces Bowl in Fort Worth, Texas against Army. The game will be played on Saturday, Dec. 23 at 12:30 p.m. Pacific. The game will be on ESPN, which is important to know because you are definitely not going to attend.

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We won’t have the Poinsettia Bowl to kick around anymore

poinsettia-bowl

Bad news about San Diego’s most lower-tier, MWC-affiliated, toxic-to-pets bowl game.

Now, many Aztec fans (myself, included) have been known to poke fun at the annual mid-December showcase of Group of 5 mediocrity. Indeed, with the exception of 2010, a drought-breaking year in which a trip to literally any bowl game would have been greeted with the unbridled enthusiasm of a monarch’s coronation, the thought of the Poinsettia was always a drag for us. It was a consolation prize in which we’d play a meh opponent in our shitty home stadium and pay exorbitant bowl game prices to do so.

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Aztecs beat San José State, get first conference win in game that happened

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Nothing is real
And nothing to get hung about
     – The Beatles, “Strawberry Fields Forever”

San Diego State men’s basketball: What is it? I thought I knew a few things, maybe not always important things, but at least some idea of the world and our place in it. Now it’s 2017 and honestly I don’t know anything. If you’re telling me you know things, I’ve got doubts. Shit is weird and getting weirder, some great unraveling seems underway, a dark version of history we’re doomed to repeat. On the other hand, American institutions are in doubt, facts are dead and news is whatever you decide it is!

Objectively I can say the Aztecs beat the San José State Spartans 76-61 at Viejas Arena. It’s good to win! SDSU had started 0-3 in conference, which is bad and makes everybody feel bad. So this is better. But don’t hold me to that, who’s to judge, make up your own damn mind.

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Matchsticks and other inspiring items eaten by Mountain West hoops coaches

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The San Diego State Aztecs men’s hoops team will face the Boise State Broncos on Saturday night in Boise. It figures to be a tough game considering even vintage SDSU teams have had trouble at Taco Bell Arena and this team is … uh … less than vintage.

But I’m not here to talk about that (thank god). I’m here to talk about this.

That is Boise State head coach Leon Rice talking about eating a book of matches to inspire his team to a win over Colorado State. Gross!

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New Year’s Resolutions for the Mountain West

The New Year is upon it, and with it comes a renewed sense optimism for all – even members of the Mountain West Conference. Well, everyone except San Jose State.

Poor, sad, pathetic, idiot San Jose State.

But there’s hope for the rest of us! Here are the New Year’s Resolutions for 2017 from around the Mountain West.

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The Pumphrey years at SDSU: A retrospective in tweet form

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52 months ago, Donnel Pumphrey pulled out his DROID RAZR MAXX and composed the following message.

Zero people favorited this tweet at the time. Feel free to go back and like it now, though. I’ll wait.

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Aztecs lose to Loyola (Chicago), at-large hopes at risk (totally fucked)

Well, that certainly wasn’t an ominous start to a stressful day of San Diego State athletics, no-siree. Hang on for a quick sec …

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Ah, that’s better.

I would be more apoplectic about the Aztecs men’s basketball team’s 65-59 loss to Loyola Chicago today if I didn’t see it coming like a CTA bus belching black smoke up Michigan Avenue. This game had trap written all over it, with an early start time and a speedy, guard oriented – and pretty good – opponent. This was going to be a hard fought win at best and a resume-slaughtering albatross of a loss at worst.

So I guess we got the latter! How fun.

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MOUNTAIN WEST CHAMPIONSHIP GAME Preview: Aztecs at University of Wyoming Cowboys

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What: San Diego State Aztecs at Wyoming Cowboys
When: Saturday, December 3 at 4:45 P.M.
TV: ESPN
Line: Aztecs -7

FUUUUUUUUUCK

I mean, hooray! The Aztecs are playing in the Mountain West championship game! This is a good thing! Of course, the game is being played in Laramie instead of San Diego. This is a bad thing.

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