Game Recap: Aztecs, minus Malik, beat San Jose State

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San Diego State men’s basketball took a wobbly first step into the post Malone post-Malik era on Saturday night — an era the program has ushered in by choice.

Tonight, up in Eugene, Ore., a player mentioned by his coach on a dang FBI wiretap as the recipient of a hundred grand was cleared to play by the University of Arizona.

Tonight, at Event Center at San José State University, a player whose name appeared next to a $1,400 loan on a sports agency’s balance sheet wasn’t even allowed to make the trip.

What a world.

Yeah. We hear you, Max. We hear you.

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Game Recap: Aztecs hammer UNLV by 38 points LOL

There are two ways to look at what transpired Saturday afternoon at Viejas Arena, where the San Diego State men’s basketball team crushed UNLV 94-56 in what felt like a November paycheck game against a Southland Conference team that starts a 6-foot-5 power forward wearing a headband and goggles.

On one hand, you’d be forgiven if you came away a little bitter.

Where the hell has this been? That aggressive defense, that commitment to doing something on offense besides jacking threes, that perfect use of the bench. If SDSU stated playing like that a couple of months ago we’d be talking about NCAA Tournament seeding rather than the thrilling quest to avoid the conference tournament play-in round.

On the other hand, LOLOLOLOL eat it UNLV.

The Aztecs just rained merciless destruction on one of our most hated rivals, delivering the biggest beating ever in this series. Keep in mind, that spans 69 games and includes several seasons in the ’90s when SDSU was seriously putrid. The Rebels are probably hitchhiking back to Vegas right now while Malik Pope joyrides their team bus through Pacific Beach. At least I hope so.

Yeah, I’m feeling like going with option No. 2 here. Today was awesome, so I say let’s sit back, relax and enjoy the following video of SDSU beating UNLV with a pillowcase full of doorknobs, metaphorically. Mostly metaphorically.

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Game Recap: This is the Bad Place

The San Diego State University men’s basketball team lost again, 88-78 at UNLV. It’s an outcome now all too familiar and comfortable. Even in the new bad era of SDSU hoops, this one stands out: The first loss to the Rebs on their ugly-ass home floor since the 2012-13 season, when Chase Tapley and the Tecs wore the good uniforms with SAN DIEGO and STATE above and below the numbers, respectively.

Half man, half sweet uni

That 2012-13 team was a 7 seed and won an NCAA Tournament game, a baseline standard of success fading into distant memory and totally unimaginable for the 2017-18 Aztecs.

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Game Recap: Come for the blowout of Colorado State, stay for the Larry Eustachy roast

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A helpful visual aid for Larry.

Amid a lost San Diego State men’s basketball season spiraling into irrelevance, it’s nice that the Aztecs still possess enough talent to give us moments of pure happiness. That’s not nothing, folks!

Yes, SDSU’s record merely improved to .500 in conference with a win tonight over Colorado State. Yes, the thought of SDSU winning three games in three days (let alone four in four) in the Mountain West Tournament still seems like fantasy. Yes, Colorado State is among the MWC’s most putrid teams, at least in the non El Camino Rivalry division.

But you know what … screw all that.

Dwelling on three game losing streaks sucks. Wringing our hands about the Aztecs getting a first round bye in Vegas is not why we watch this stupid sport. We’re in it for nights like tonight, when your team drains a bunch of 3s and nearly drops a Benjamin on the most annoying coach in the conference.

Tonight was fun! Tonight was a good night.

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Game Recap: Aztecs stun No. 12 Gonzaga, you, me, everyone else

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The court storming was denied, with extreme prejudice.

As the final tenth of a second ticked off in the San Diego State men’s basketball team’s 72-70 upset of No. 12 Gonzaga on Thursday night at Viejas, a couple dozen scruffy students made a run at a handful of Elite Security’s finest. The wave was repulsed, with one particularly rambunctious student getting hauled away into the tunnel by the enraged off-brand Pinkertons.

It was honestly kind of a shame. If ever there was a game that deserved a court storming — a sweet release of two and a half years of unrealized expectations and general malaise — this was it.

The Aztecs didn’t beat just any ranked opponent. This was Mark Few’s mid-major blue blood, a reloaded squad that returned two key starters off a team that was 7 points shy of the National Damn Championship just a few months ago. This is easily SDSU’s most significant regular season win since Kansas at Phog Allen in 2014. And unlike that time, I don’t think any of us really saw it coming.

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Game Recap: Welcome, ‘Matt Mitchell’

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Matt Mitchell showed up out of the blue in the middle of summer, a late commitment that took a lot of people by surprise. The Riverside native is 6-foot-6, 230 and sports a well-groomed mustache. He is allegedly 18 years old despite the fact that if someone were to introduce him to you as Matt Mitchell, 35-year old foreman on an offshore oil rig, you would not bat an eye.

Look, I’m not saying Matt Mitchell is a grown man posing as a teenager for some reason we do not yet understand. That would be a scurrilous rumor, the sort in which I do not traffic or condone.

All I’m doing is asking questions here, people.

Whatever the truth, it’s safe to say we’re all thrilled he’s here.

In just the fourth game of his college career, the forward turned in the most prolific scoring performance by an Aztec freshman since 2003. Mitchell scored 31 points, 26 of which came in the second half of SDSU’s 96-63 drubbing of Eastern Illinois.

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Game Recap: SDSU opens Dutcher era by dominating team of local ragamuffins

I always forget San Diego Christian College’s moniker, which is silly because we play these human traffic cones from Santee every single year as an early season appetizer. I’m pretty sure it’s a majestic bird of some kind, right? The San Diego Christian Embezzling Buzzards? That seems right.

Aw hell, I’ll just Google tonight’s game so I can know for sure.

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Right. The, uh, San Diego Christian Gray Crests. Got it.

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Cold beer, new faces and hella baskets: an exhibition basketball Tweetcap

The San Diego State men’s basketball team kicked off the Brian Dutcher era on Thursday night with a 98-79 win over UC San Diego. Yes, yes, I know: “Kicked off” is a stupid and embarrassing expression to use when writing about hoops, but you know what? I’m not changing it.

IT’S THE PRESEASON FOR BLOGGERS TOO. I’m here to learn from my mistakes and get better, folks.

Tonight’s game wasn’t on TV (not even the TV they have on computers these days) and I didn’t attend the contest because LOL I’m not paying $15 parking for a stupid exhibition game. So I didn’t see it. Lemonverbena had other plans, as well, and VocalMinoritySDSU lives in the Yukon Territory or somesuch. Fortunately, Attempted Chem was on the scene at State to drink beer, eat greasy Mexican food that will definitely not give him the runs and provide this handy Tweetcap for the first non-super secret fake game of the Dutcher era!

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