Max Hoetzel – KABEER THIRTY

SDSU demolishes Boise State, advances to semis

A little less than two months ago, a buddy and I went to a bar in North Park to watch the Aztecs-Boise State hoops game. We were the only two people in the establishment who gave a shit, to be sure, and I got a big eye roll from the bartender when I asked her to change one of the nine TVs showing NFL Network highlights onto ESPNU or whatever jerkwater channel the game was on. Then SDSU proceeded to suffer probably their most brutal, listless, depressing loss in a season of stanky-ass losses.

As you can imagine, I spent that night feeling kind of crappy about my choice of hobbies and my priorities in general.

Right now I’m writing this blog post in the middle of the night (thanks, 8:30 start) one day removed from an international flight and with a long day at work and a 9:30 p.m. game time (fucking hell) looming tomorrow. And you know what? At the moment, I’m good with it.

A game like this can sustain you.

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Aztecs win ugly, look much better in alternate realities

pleaseclap — Please clap for an indefinite period of time

Science, religion and philosophy contemplate the nature of our universe. Whether dogmatic or pragmatic, wherever you the reader fall on the spectrum of What is reality and Why are we here, we can objectively agree on this: The San Diego State men’s basketball team shot 28.8 percent in a Division I game and still won by 13 points, beating Air Force 51-38 at Viejas Arena. It is settled fact that the Falcons have lost 22 straight conference road games. Continue reading “Aztecs win ugly, look much better in alternate realities”

So you wasted your Wednesday night

Here are a few things you could have been watching at 8 p.m. on Wednesday night instead of the San Diego State men’s basketball team’s 63-55 home loss to Fresno State.

ABC: The Goldbergs
“So Swayze It’s Crazy”

After Adam sees his friend on television, he asks Beverly for her help to become an actor, so Beverly enlists his friend’s mom Edie, who is a kid talent agent in town. Unfortunately, Edie insists Adam can only get “nerd” roles, so Beverly goes on a quest to make Adam a teenage heartthrob. Meanwhile, Barry decides to embrace the punk lifestyle, and Murray attempts to become more involved in Erica’s life, but it backfires.

This definitely does not seem like a television show that traffics in cheap stereotypes, no sir. Let’s see, what else?

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San Diego State men beat Utah State men at basketball, are genetically superior

You guessed it, comrades: student-athletes from San Diego State University played another intercollegiate basketball game, this one a 66-62 road win over Utah State. It bore little or no relation to national security, treason, компромат or any number of other potential looming crises. After all, there’s 351 Division I men’s basketball programs in this country and SDSU is but one of them! Really puts things in perspective when you step back and look at the big picture.

It’s a tired and well-worn cliché to say that one game is a microcosm. But. This game showcased inherent traits of the 2016-17 Aztecs in a nutshell: an athletic, highly talented team that can play lockdown defense and run anyone in their conference out of the building, and also an underachieving team that easily loses its way and can blow a lead of any size. And do it all with key contributors out with injuries.

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You were wrong when you said everything’s gonna be all right

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The Aztecs men’s basketball team took a trip to Taco Bell on Saturday night and it went about as well as you might expect. It started out pretty tasty, but ended up with us all doubled over in pain and weeping on the toilet.

Look, I know. I’m sorry.

I should really feel worse about going with the hackneyed LOL TACO BELL ARENA joke as my lede, but I just don’t. Sure it’s lazy and cheap and unimaginative, but did this game – does this team – really deserve any more effort than that?

Also I’ve consumed several beers.

Continue reading “You were wrong when you said everything’s gonna be all right”