Heat-related opening week Mountain West roundup

What could be more San Diego than a blazing September afternoon at STADIUM with 46,132 sweaty friends! I ask you. Those thousands of hardy souls braved great expanses of sizzling asphalt for the SDSU football season opener on the hottest day of the year. Some other indeterminate number of fans watched on…line. Other than the Aztecs game, probably not many of us saw much if any other Mountain West action because why on earth would you do such a thing? Our conference is bad! But we need to keep tabs on these chumps so let’s take a cursory glance at scores from around the league.
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Hey Reb! Your new logo is trash

The University of Nevada, Las Vegas updated their “spirit mark” i.e. athletics logo. It’s bad! UNLV tweeted it out yesterday and were met with immediate dogpiling and cyberbullying.

hahahahha WHAT

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New Year’s Resolutions for the Mountain West

The New Year is upon it, and with it comes a renewed sense optimism for all – even members of the Mountain West Conference. Well, everyone except San Jose State.

Poor, sad, pathetic, idiot San Jose State.

But there’s hope for the rest of us! Here are the New Year’s Resolutions for 2017 from around the Mountain West.

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The best wins of the Rocky Long Era; a vitally important elimination tournament (ROUND 2)

boise

We are on the the Final Four Five in our elimination tournament of best wins of the Rocky Long era. Countless dozens of votes (OK, four dozen) flooded in during the first round, giving us a higher turnout than most A.S. elections. We ended up with three blowouts and a tie! Check out the results here.

As a result of the deadlock, we will now have a three-way cage match between Scared Money Don’t Make No Money and the 2015 and 2016 MWC Championship Games.

In the other semifinal, you most now decide what’s cooler: beating Boise on The Blue or beating Cal at the Q?

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Literal Mountain West Roundup

What follows is a caustic précis of football results from the inferior athletic conference the San Diego State Aztecs play in. Let’s see what in the Sam Hill those middling teams did this week:

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Cold-seat Rocky Long owes no apologies for dominating the Mountain West

On Saturday morning, still buzzing from the glory of the Aztecs’ victory over Fresno State, I sat and drank a beermosa from a vintage oil can. Not the vintage Oil Can, mind you, just one I found at the dump and hastily rinsed out with warm water. Totally sanitary.

It felt good, and it should have dammit. Fresno State is a bad school for bad people and they do not deserve to possess even the most contrived, rusted-ass piece of scrap metal.

Anyway, amid my exultation, I decided to do what any red-blooded sports fan would do: Troll the local sports columnist over a bad take he had more than a year ago. It’s the American way!

The local columnist’s response was appropriately snippy, considering I was being an ass by mocking his “Fire Rocky” take from early 2015. But the more I thought about the underlying point of his retort (other than the implied “FUCK YOU ANONYMOUS BLOGGER BOY” which, again, is fair), the more I kind of take issue with it.

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Lily-livered Mountain West Roundup

Another week, another bunch of inconsequential yet marginally meaningful football results from the cowardly lions of the Little Conference That Couldn’t. Hit it:

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Lay Mountain West Roundup

After an inexcusable post-loss hiatus we are back with the low intensity recap of Mountain West football scores for laypersons. Now even lazier, what with these dumb teams playing against one another! Onward with the intra-conference sporting results:

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