Seahawks draft Rashaad Penny 27th overall, completely blow minds

What do you call it when something good happens? Like, something that’s not the bad or mediocre thing you suspected would happen? I’m having a hard time even processing the reality that Rashaad Penny is a Seahawk. This is my face:

Edward Louis Severson III, exultant.

As we all know, Penny is a person of high character and a hell of a running back. The Seahawks are a running team that really needs a running back!

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Armed Forces Bowl Recap: Penny’s epic swan song wasted in stupid loss to Army

San Diego State football has given its fans so much these past seven seasons; things that we never dared imagine a decade ago. Seven bowl appearances. Four wins vs. Pac-12 teams, including three in a row. Appearances in the rankings and the expectation that the Aztecs should be nationally respectable every single year.

Saturday, San Diego State football decided to give some stuff away. The Armed Forces Bowl. A potential Top-25 ranking. A storybook ending to Rashaad Penny’s incredible Aztecs career.

IT WAS NOT PARTICULARLY ENJOYABLE.

Fuckin’ ay, DJ. Fuckin’. Ay.

Army beat the Aztecs 42-35, the final score owing to some final play silliness. But really it was a two-point conversion capping off a 5-minute drive that gave the Black Knights the 1-point winning margin. It was a methodical, excruciating, seemingly inevitable go-ahead TD march.

One that never should have been allowed to occur.

Continue reading “Armed Forces Bowl Recap: Penny’s epic swan song wasted in stupid loss to Army”

Revisiting each of Rashaad Penny’s 48 career touchdowns

Rashaad Penny has scored 48 touchdowns in his San Diego State football career, which seems like a lot even without any context.

Now consider he scored zero as a freshman, when he rarely saw the field.

Then he was a third-string running back behind two 1,000-yard rushers as a sophomore.

Then he was a backup to a 2,000-yard rusher as a junior.

Forty eight damn touchdowns.

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The “how” is that Rashaad Penny is a touchdown-scoring freak who rains destruction and misery upon all who stand in his way. He has shown the ability to wreck fools in every way imaginable.

Continue reading “Revisiting each of Rashaad Penny’s 48 career touchdowns”

National media rightfully honors Penny, unjustly dirties Rocky

With the Armed Forces Bowl still nearly two weeks away, San Diego State football got some national publicity today on a couple of fronts. Half of it was even good!

We start with Rashaad Penny. Fresh off a fifth-place finish in the Heisman Trophy voting, the nation’s top yardage-accumulator actually received a non-snub* from the Associated Press.

Continue reading “National media rightfully honors Penny, unjustly dirties Rocky”

They couldn’t even let us have this (remix)

Editor’s note: Why write an entirely new post about a legit SDSU Heisman candidate getting snubbed for a trip to New York when a perfectly good template already exists?

We now go live to the announcement of the 2016 2017 Heisman Trophy finalists!

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Here’s the thing.

I think we had all resigned ourselves by now to the fact that D.J. Pumphrey  Rashaad Penny was not going to win the Heisman Trophy. Despite the monster numbers, the assault on the all-time rushing mark leading FBS in rushing and all-purpose yardage and the bigass banner hanging on the west end of campus OK maybe there should have been a banner, #Pumphrey4Heisman #Penny4Heisman was always a bit of a Potemkin village. We all saw what happened to Marshall and D.J.

But I think we held out hope that D.J. Rashaad could at least make it to New York — to get a free chicken dinner, a memory to last a lifetime and a nice photo op for both him and San Diego State University.

Wellllll, guess what? The Lords of College Football couldn’t even let us have that.

Continue reading “They couldn’t even let us have this (remix)”

Game Recap: Penny doorbusts New Mexico on Black Friday, Aztecs claim 10th win

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The Rashaad Penny of frenzied, pink Croc-wearing consumers.

There was something of a surreal feel to  this afternoon’s San Diego State football game. Maybe it’s that we’re not used to seeing the Aztecs play in broad daylight in their home blacks. Maybe it was the stagnant midafternoon sizzle of this stupid late November heat wave. Maybe it was the smallish turnout for a Black Friday game with nothing really on the line.

It was probably all of those things, actually.

In sum, they created the college football version of a Thanksgiving food coma. Consider it a mildly uncomfortable, lethargic yet unmistakably pleasant end to what has been a delightful feast of a regular season.

SDSU, aided by a pretty bad New Mexico team, made sure of the pleasant outcome, as the Aztecs handled the Lobos 35-10 on the strength of another monster Rashaad Penny performance and a nearly flawless defensive performance.

Since I’m not some dipshit Doak Walker Award voter, let me begin by giving Penny his due.

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Attendance Truth: Rashaad Penny runs wild edition

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Fog: Mother Nature’s tarp.

With the Chargers gone and Mission Valley up for grabs, it seems everybody is suddenly *keenly* interested in San Diego State’s football attendance. Trouble is, that number has always been kind of tough to pin down. The official count is a tickets-distributed figure, and that often doesn’t jibe with the butts in seats. THE HATERZ on the other hand have it on good authority that literally zero people have ever attended an Aztecs football game. We’re here to find the truth, people.

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November 18, 2017: SDSU vs. Nevada. The Rashaad Penny Game. Read the recap.

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Game Recap: On a grim day, Rashaad Penny reminds us how good we have it

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Same.

We’ll get the negativity out of the way first.

San Diego State will not three-peat as Mountain West Conference Champions. That was solidified earlier Saturday afternoon when Fresno State edged past a Josh Allen-less Wyoming to win the West Division. Thanks for nothing, Josh Allen. What did we ever do to you?

Ah yes, that’s right.

Elsewhere Saturday, an unexpected win by Kansas State may have muddied SDSU’s path to a Cactus Bowl bid, and thus its larger hopes of playing a name opponent at a non-garbage destination. It was a disheartening day.

Until it wasn’t.

Continue reading “Game Recap: On a grim day, Rashaad Penny reminds us how good we have it”