They couldn’t even let us have this (remix)

Editor’s note: Why write an entirely new post about a legit SDSU Heisman candidate getting snubbed for a trip to New York when a perfectly good template already exists?

We now go live to the announcement of the 2016 2017 Heisman Trophy finalists!

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Here’s the thing.

I think we had all resigned ourselves by now to the fact that D.J. Pumphrey  Rashaad Penny was not going to win the Heisman Trophy. Despite the monster numbers, the assault on the all-time rushing mark leading FBS in rushing and all-purpose yardage and the bigass banner hanging on the west end of campus OK maybe there should have been a banner, #Pumphrey4Heisman #Penny4Heisman was always a bit of a Potemkin village. We all saw what happened to Marshall and D.J.

But I think we held out hope that D.J. Rashaad could at least make it to New York — to get a free chicken dinner, a memory to last a lifetime and a nice photo op for both him and San Diego State University.

Wellllll, guess what? The Lords of College Football couldn’t even let us have that.

Continue reading “They couldn’t even let us have this (remix)”

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Game Recap: Penny doorbusts New Mexico on Black Friday, Aztecs claim 10th win

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The Rashaad Penny of frenzied, pink Croc-wearing consumers.

There was something of a surreal feel to  this afternoon’s San Diego State football game. Maybe it’s that we’re not used to seeing the Aztecs play in broad daylight in their home blacks. Maybe it was the stagnant midafternoon sizzle of this stupid late November heat wave. Maybe it was the smallish turnout for a Black Friday game with nothing really on the line.

It was probably all of those things, actually.

In sum, they created the college football version of a Thanksgiving food coma. Consider it a mildly uncomfortable, lethargic yet unmistakably pleasant end to what has been a delightful feast of a regular season.

SDSU, aided by a pretty bad New Mexico team, made sure of the pleasant outcome, as the Aztecs handled the Lobos 35-10 on the strength of another monster Rashaad Penny performance and a nearly flawless defensive performance.

Since I’m not some dipshit Doak Walker Award voter, let me begin by giving Penny his due.

Continue reading “Game Recap: Penny doorbusts New Mexico on Black Friday, Aztecs claim 10th win”

Attendance Truth: Rashaad Penny runs wild edition

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Fog: Mother Nature’s tarp.

With the Chargers gone and Mission Valley up for grabs, it seems everybody is suddenly *keenly* interested in San Diego State’s football attendance. Trouble is, that number has always been kind of tough to pin down. The official count is a tickets-distributed figure, and that often doesn’t jibe with the butts in seats. THE HATERZ on the other hand have it on good authority that literally zero people have ever attended an Aztecs football game. We’re here to find the truth, people.

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November 18, 2017: SDSU vs. Nevada. The Rashaad Penny Game. Read the recap.

Continue reading “Attendance Truth: Rashaad Penny runs wild edition”

Game Recap: On a grim day, Rashaad Penny reminds us how good we have it

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Same.

We’ll get the negativity out of the way first.

San Diego State will not three-peat as Mountain West Conference Champions. That was solidified earlier Saturday afternoon when Fresno State edged past a Josh Allen-less Wyoming to win the West Division. Thanks for nothing, Josh Allen. What did we ever do to you?

Ah yes, that’s right.

Elsewhere Saturday, an unexpected win by Kansas State may have muddied SDSU’s path to a Cactus Bowl bid, and thus its larger hopes of playing a name opponent at a non-garbage destination. It was a disheartening day.

Until it wasn’t.

Continue reading “Game Recap: On a grim day, Rashaad Penny reminds us how good we have it”

Game Recap: Aztecs trample San Jose State underfoot

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I bet you didn’t even know Nick Bawden used to be a quarterback until you heard about it on the broadcast. Crazy, right??

The night began with Rashaad Penny doing Rashaad Penny things. It continued with Juwan Washington running to daylight and Nick Bawden soaring into the end zone like a majestic, hella jacked eagle. It ended with Chase Jasmin, Tyler Wormhoudt and someone named Chad Woolsey (possibly a cop or an undercover reporter working on a story about dating mores in college) busting off big runs of their own.

I mean, my god. One wonders if offensive coordinator Jeff Horton considered getting John Baron or Antonio Rosales a couple of carries, just to see what the hell would happen*.

The San Diego State football team beat San Jose State 52-7 on Saturday night in San Jose, to finally take the all-time series lead in the vaunted El Camino Real Rivalry. And, honestly, the 52 points scored was one of the more underwhelming stats of the game.

Continue reading “Game Recap: Aztecs trample San Jose State underfoot”

Victory in the Pacific! Penny and the ‘Tecs blow past the ‘Bows

DRAG HIM

Well! That’s a relief. The San Diego State football Aztecs, reeling from two straight losses after starting the season 6 and 0, went to Honolulu and beat Hawai’i 28-7. Coupled with Fresno State’s surprising loss at home to UNLV, the win cracks open a can of hope for a return to the Mountain West championship game.

This tweet from the official SDSU Football account is a good representation of the game: Rashaad Penny running to daylight past a handful of disinterested fans and thousands of empty Aloha Stadium seats.

A solid, necessary win, one that will be most remembered for That Run.

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Game Recap: Boise State blows out Aztecs, teaches us important lesson that big dreams are for suckers

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I really want nothing more than to go to bed and sleep for about 17 hours, so I’ll do my best to keep this brief. The San Diego State football team carried a No. 19 ranking, Heisman hype and a Fiesta Bowl resume into Saturday night’s conference showdown with the objectively evil Boise State Broncos.

The Aztecs lost it all, quickly and convincingly.

Continue reading “Game Recap: Boise State blows out Aztecs, teaches us important lesson that big dreams are for suckers”

Game Recap: Aztecs, Beastmode Penny overcome ominous start to rout UNLV

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What he said.

I had misgivings about this game from the start. San Diego State had traveled to a wounded but proud city to play a team inspired to honor its fallen friends and neighbors. A win here wasn’t going to feel good, no matter what.

Then the game started and my misgivings mounted. The Aztecs opened with a methodical drive that stalled at the 1 when Rashaad Penny stunningly fumbled a pitch. SDSU forced a three and out and promptly marched back down inside the 10 … only to settle for the field goal.

Total domination, and a 3 point lead.

That start was the college football version of picking up a hitchhiker on a lonely highway in a horror movie. You just knew by the end of the game, we were going to be staggering for shelter toward a creepy, half-collapsed barn and … oh no, no, NO … don’t go in there! This is baaaaaad!

And then the Aztecs beat UNLV 41-10.

I’m starting to think maybe I shouldn’t worry so much about this team.

Continue reading “Game Recap: Aztecs, Beastmode Penny overcome ominous start to rout UNLV”