Game Recap: After brief tease, Fresno State game goes about as well as we all imagined it would

Deep down, we all knew it was going to go down like this — just as we all know that the Old Oil Can is a meaningless contrived rivalry trophy bought off eBay in 2011.

Still, this is some really gross shit to watch.

Fresno State clinched the Mountain West Conference West Division on Saturday night with a 23-14 win over the an SDSU team now aimlessly staggering to the finish after an inspiring start to the season.

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Atrocity Recap: Aztecs literally lose to UNLV at football

For all the glorious games of the Rocky Long era, there have also been some absolute steaming turds. Eastern Illinois in 2013. South Alabama in 2015. South Alabama in 2016.

WELP, you can add UNLV, 2018 to the list of scatological infamy.

The Aztecs lost 27-24 at home on Saturday night to a team that had beaten an FCS opponent, possibly the worst team in FBS and exactly zero other teams. The Rebels lost to San Jose State and New Mexico, giving up 50 on both occasions. They’re really, really bad.

Maybe we are too? I really don’t know anymore.

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Game Recap: Aztecs, Brilliant in Crunch Time, Win at UNM (Let Us Never Discuss the First 50 Minutes)

Juwan Washington — whom we missed very, very badly — breaks loose to ice it.

With 10:07 remaining in the fourth quarter, New Mexico threw a touchdown to go up 23-14 on San Diego State and I reached for my laptop to write this here recap, which at the time was an obituary for a once-promising season.

Despite getting back their stud running back and the winningest QB in program history, the Aztecs’ offense couldn’t stay on the field and the defense could only hold for so long. SDSU was going to lose in Albuquerque to a definitely crappy Lobos team and be effectively eliminated for the Mountain West title race. The season was dead.

But then…

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Game Recap: Aztecs lose winnable game in Reno in frustrating fashion

Our beloved San Diego State football Aztecs had been living something of a charmed existence during their 6-game winning streak, may it rest in peace. Well, except for the injuries to key starters, but you know what I mean. Along the way, they won games thanks to a targeting foul they committed, a long-ass John Baron field goal, a mad Ryan Agnew scramble after a lightning delay and yet another long-ass Baron field goal.

After doing just enough to win and not a thing more for nearly two months straight, the Aztecs just felt due to cock one up.

And cock one up they did.

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Game Recap: Aztecs beat San José State in football game that happened

San Diego State escaped with a 16-13 win over San José State on Saturday night in a football game which — by all objective evidence — occurred.

The Spartans came in 0-6, losers in so many senses of the word. The writers of this web site goofed hard on winless Old Sparty and breezily predicted an easy win at the old Tombstone. For Homecoming. On “Red Out” night. In this week’s Game Preview, AztecsKillingHim wrote:

Last year’s red-themed games resulted in a blowout football loss to Boise State and an embarrassing last-second hoops collapse against a putrid Cal squad. Losing to San José State would prove once and for all that red is a cursed color and should probably be removed as a school color entirely.

Red Out is a hex, a self-own, a salt shaker with a loose lid. This wasn’t a loss — barely — but can we all now agree: Red Out promotions are BAD. From now on I’m holding anyone who specifically wears red to a Red Out game personally responsible for the ensuing chaos, heartbreak and misery.

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Game Recap: Aztecs beat Air Force 21-17 in interminably delayed football game

The Falconer, an archetype for taming the imperialist service academy.

San Diego State beat Air Force 21-17 on a dark and stormy Friday — Friday! — night at the Tombstone. It was a sloppy, sketchy win with a really long pause in the middle of it. Those of us who stayed through the extended lightning delay were then treated to longer commercial breaks punctuated by occasional live football action. Whatever TV audience remained may have been in the tens of thousands, added to the scattered hundreds of diehards and fools left in the stadium.

I’ll give it this much: This is a game past Aztecs teams probably lose. They made enough plays to scratch out Rocky Long’s 69th win as SDSU head coach. No matter how awkward it felt, that’s pretty nice.

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Game Recap: Another masterpiece on The Blue

It’s getting to the point where we need to remind ourselves not to become numb to this.

Less than two years ago, in the wake of the Aztecs’ 2016 Mountain West Conference Championship Game victory, I spent a week leading up to the bowl game running a silly bracket-style tournament of the best wins of the Rocky Long era (hooray, content!). Have a look at the eight games I chose. The winner of the tournament as selected by you, the fans, was — I shit you not — a regular season win over Nevada.

In the 22 months since, we’ve been thoroughly spoiled with the following:

  • A bowl victory over Group of Five darling Houston in which D.J. Pumphrey broke the NCAA rushing record.
  • A win on the road at Arizona State in Rashaad Penny’s national coming out party.
  • The Stanford blackout.
  • ANOTHER win over the Sun Devils, who were ranked this time.

And now this.

A win on The Blue. As a two touchdown dog. With the Aztecs’ starting quarterback, running back and fullback all out with injuries.

THIS 👏 IS 👏 NOT 👏 NORMAL 👏 PEOPLE!

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Game Recap: Football Aztecs outlast EMU Emus in overtime for third straight win

 

Be careful what MACtion you wish for.

In their third stress-inducing home victory in three weeks, the San Diego State football Aztecs came from behind to beat Eastern Michigan 23-20 in overtime. The EMU Eagles do not identify as emus, but much like the freakishly tall flightless bird, proved stubborn and hard to knock over nonetheless.

Despite running their record to 13-0-1 against the Mid-American Conference, it turns out the Aztecs don’t really want that MACtion.

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