Game Recap: SDSU opens Dutcher era by dominating team of local ragamuffins

I always forget San Diego Christian College’s moniker, which is silly because we play these human traffic cones from Santee every single year as an early season appetizer. I’m pretty sure it’s a majestic bird of some kind, right? The San Diego Christian Embezzling Buzzards? That seems right.

Aw hell, I’ll just Google tonight’s game so I can know for sure.

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Right. The, uh, San Diego Christian Gray Crests. Got it.

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Heat-related opening week Mountain West roundup

What could be more San Diego than a blazing September afternoon at STADIUM with 46,132 sweaty friends! I ask you. Those thousands of hardy souls braved great expanses of sizzling asphalt for the SDSU football season opener on the hottest day of the year. Some other indeterminate number of fans watched on…line. Other than the Aztecs game, probably not many of us saw much if any other Mountain West action because why on earth would you do such a thing? Our conference is bad! But we need to keep tabs on these chumps so let’s take a cursory glance at scores from around the league.
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Hemsley, Kell, Cheatham, Allen and some guy from sociology class beat imaginary local foe

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If the University of San Diego is our little sister, that makes San Diego Christian … what? Our totally-not-fake Canadian girlfriend?

That kind of works, actually. Let’s go with it.

Well, consider this the perfect time to conjure up our Canadian sweetheart. After the hobbled-as-hell Aztecs men’s hoops team was dumped on its ass by Gonzaga on Monday night, turning the page by playing an imaginary basketball team from an imaginary college was just what the love doctor ordered.

No, really, guys! I’ve got a hot date with the San Diego Christian Hawks tonight! That is a totally real team that definitely exists!

Continue reading “Hemsley, Kell, Cheatham, Allen and some guy from sociology class beat imaginary local foe”