What: Football game
Who: Sacramento State Hornets at San Diego State Aztecs
When: 6 p.m. Saturday
Where: SDCCU Stadium
TV: There might be a feed in the press box I guess, or on those Circuit City clearance sale TV monitors bolted onto the Plaza Level overhang. Buy a ticket, basically.
Unless shit goes sideways, this game is a welcome chance for a needed tune-up before Arizona State. SDSU will have a somewhat low-pressure environment to work on correcting the things that went wrong in the Stanford game, including such trivial details as pass protection, covering opposing football men or not hesitating your way into a 17-yard sack. I’m guessing the team is feeling cranky after the way the second half of Friday’s game went down, and I believe Rocky Long is a good enough coach to channel that constructively.
But! Sacramento State is pretty decent as Football Championship Subdivision squads go, so an upset isn’t impossible. That happening would mean a couple of things, most notably:
1) I would abandon Twitter for probably two weeks, minimum*
2) about 4,000 freshmen attending their first-ever Aztecs game will never attend another one for as long as they live.
Please win, Aztecs.
Sac State is a Big Sky team, meaning it did have a common opponent with the Aztecs last season. SDSU beat UC Davis 38-17 for last year’s SkyShow game, while the Hornets beat those same Aggies 52-47. Note that Sac State is currently on a winning streak against schools administered by Adela de la Torre. That is probably not a significant factor in this matchup, but what this blog presupposes is maybe it is?
The Hornets opened their season by racking up 630 yards of offense and 55 points against St. Francis — a saint renowned for patronage of animals and the natural environment but not so much for cover-2 defense. UNLV transfer and mashup of “Kids In The Hall” cast members Kevin Thompson leads the Hornets up-tempo attack. He passed for 17 TDs and rushed for nine more last season, so he might be a problem. On the other hand, it should be noted that none of Thompson’s receivers are JJ Arcega-Whiteside. Trust me, I checked the roster twice.
The Hornets’ defense is let by senior safety Mister Harriel, who apparently does cool basketball trick shots in his spare time.
Also, I was going to make a lame “Please, Mister Harriel is my father’s name” joke only to find out that Mister Harriel is literally his father’s name. So much for that.
Well, let’s see. It’s probably going to be hot, but probably not as hot as last year’s SkyShow. It’ll be a big crowd, yes, but only about half the fans will even be in their seats while this is still a competitive game (hopefully). I will have about three 16 ounce IPAs in the parking lot, which will play a factor in how often I will be in line for the urinal, though that’s not something you really need to know about. That’s about it.
What, the trick shots aren’t good enough? Fine. Behold the Sac State passing attack, in all its glory.
That coverage … NOT OPTIMAL.
The ole gunslinger. Boy oh boy.
Seriously, is this TecmoBowl? Run the flea-flicker next!
I’m starting to think St. Francis might not have been very good, you guys.
Christian Chapman and the pass defense step up after poor performances in Week 1. Juwan Washington has at least two touchdowns and the Hornets are held to less than 100 yards rushing. Aztecs pummel-drome (copyright
@JobuNeedsRefill) Sac State.
SDSU 31, Sacramento State 13
Advisory Columnist @EgosAndDespair
The Aztecs are going to contact a professional to remove the Hornets in an ecologically-friendly and ethical manner. And if they are somehow stung by the Hornets (get it?), this season is going to go the way of Macaulay Culkin in the 1991 film “My Girl.”
SDSU 69, Sacramento State 0
SDSU’s secondary did not look ready for prime time against Stanford. I’m guessing the necessary adjustments were made this week to make sure the secondary is ready for, uh … whatever the opposite of prime time is. Not being on television at all? Fitting, I guess.
SDSU 42, Sacramento State 24
It’s a trap! Sac State kicked their own tin can opponent by 48 points last week and went 6-2 last season in the competitive Big Sky conference. As paycheck FCS opponents go, the Hornets are no gimme. SDSU, in not-distant memory, has shown it can lay an egg against the Cal Polys and Eastern Illinoises, and run up the score on the New Hampshires and Northern Arizonas. Maybe this one falls somewhere in between.
SDSU 31, Sacramento State 17
Consensus: All picking SDSU to win by a range of 69 to 14 points.