The most anticipated SDSU football games of 2017, ranked

Not to distract from the Mission Valley Greyscale outbreak happening up on Montezuma Mesa at the moment, but assuming our entire roster isn’t quarantined for the next four months, the San Diego State football team does have a season of football to play.

A pretty important one at that!

Now, cliche coach speak platitudes will tell you that the most important game of the year is the next one on the schedule. And that’s a good message to keep 20-year-old players focused without looking too far ahead. But I’m not a coach. (For good reason. “No one expects a fake punt on 3rd down!”) So I get to look ahead as much as I want.

Here are the OFFICIAL POWER RANKINGS of the SDSU’s most anticipated/exciting/important games of 2017:

Continue reading “The most anticipated SDSU football games of 2017, ranked”

AZTECS ALUMNI REPORT: DJ Gay gets a new gig and the NBA’s third-best team is garbage without Kawhi

Taking a break from lifting entire cars over his head and breaking Batman’s spine, fan-favorite point guard of the 2011 Sweet 16 team DJ Gay has been named head basketball coach at Chula Vista’s Victory Christian Academy.

As a women’s studies major at SDSU who played professionally in Europe, Coach Gay will be a great mentor for these young men in both their basketball careers and growth as members of society. He may or may not also force feed them Creatine shakes and spend an unreasonable amount of time on deadlifts. He’s a large man, is what I’m getting at.

Continue reading “AZTECS ALUMNI REPORT: DJ Gay gets a new gig and the NBA’s third-best team is garbage without Kawhi”

I was wrong. Vegas is bad.

Remember last week when I wrote about how my annual trip to Las Vegas for the Mountain West Conference Tournament is the highlight of my year and the weeks leading up to it are filled with giddy anticipation of the delightful frivolity to come?

Well fuck that. That version of me is dead. I am now in post-Vegas recovery mode and I hate everything.

Continue reading “I was wrong. Vegas is bad.”

Vegas: IT LOOMS

vegaswelcomesign
Unincorporated Clark County, baby

Remember when you were a kid, and Christmas was the greatest, most exciting, happy event you could imagine? My favorite movie, A Christmas Story, summed it up perfectly:

“But no matter. Christmas was on its way. Lovely, glorious, beautiful Christmas, upon which the entire kid year revolved.”

Nothing else mattered. Whatever else was going on in the world, inside or outside your home, was moot. Christmas was coming and everything was wonderful.

As a 28-year-old, Christmas isn’t quite what it used to be. But now I have Las Vegas. Specifically, my annual trip to the Mountain West men’s basketball tournament is the week upon which the entire year revolves.

Continue reading “Vegas: IT LOOMS”

New Year’s Resolutions for the Mountain West

The New Year is upon it, and with it comes a renewed sense optimism for all – even members of the Mountain West Conference. Well, everyone except San Jose State.

Poor, sad, pathetic, idiot San Jose State.

But there’s hope for the rest of us! Here are the New Year’s Resolutions for 2017 from around the Mountain West.

Continue reading “New Year’s Resolutions for the Mountain West”

Didn’t make the trip to Vegas? Here’s what you missed

 

lord

HOLY SHIT WE REALLY WON THAT GAME

Sorry, I just got home from Vegas three days ago and am still adjusting to normal life, where drinking while crossing the street is frowned upon and $25 is a measurable amount of money and basic human dignity exists.

But forget about the debauchery and the [NUMBER REDACTED] dollars I lost at video roulette. The Aztecs won a game! On national TV! Against a really good team! And set some insane records! What even is life as an Aztec fan right now?

Let’s start at the beginning.

Continue reading “Didn’t make the trip to Vegas? Here’s what you missed”

Rocky Long live the king

rock

Did you know there are people who sincerely believe the earth is flat? It’s true! There are living, breathing, functional human beings who are convinced that our planet is not spherical.

There are also people who think vaccinations turn children gay and that Del Taco is better than Taco Bell. Even more absurd than all of those maniacs are the people who think SDSU football would be better off without Rocky Long.

Continue reading “Rocky Long live the king”

OFFICIAL POWER RANKINGS: 2016-17 basketball road trip destinations

If I may divert your attention away from football and our tightly contested quest for another Mountain West division title, we do have a full season of bouncy hoops on the horizon. Many questions about this team remain unanswered.

How will the newcomers fit into coach Fisher’s rotation? Will Jeremy Hemsley make the proverbial jump from promising freshman to dominant sophomore? Could Zylan Cheatham lob an alley-oop so high that even he, himself could not slam it down?

But even above all those is: which road trips should fans be planning? Between Fresno, Albuquerque, Reno, Phoenix and Honolulu, there are a lot fun and exciting places to develop a crippling addiction to crystal meth with the locals. Not to mention the big city excitement of Chicago, Las Vegas and Logan, Utah.

Here are your potential Aztec basketball road trips, ranked worst to best:

Continue reading “OFFICIAL POWER RANKINGS: 2016-17 basketball road trip destinations”