AZTECS ALUMNI REPORT: DJ Gay gets a new gig and the NBA’s third-best team is garbage without Kawhi

Taking a break from lifting entire cars over his head and breaking Batman’s spine, fan-favorite point guard of the 2011 Sweet 16 team DJ Gay has been named head basketball coach at Chula Vista’s Victory Christian Academy.

As a women’s studies major at SDSU who played professionally in Europe, Coach Gay will be a great mentor for these young men in both their basketball careers and growth as members of society. He may or may not also force feed them Creatine shakes and spend an unreasonable amount of time on deadlifts. He’s a large man, is what I’m getting at.

Continue reading “AZTECS ALUMNI REPORT: DJ Gay gets a new gig and the NBA’s third-best team is garbage without Kawhi”

I was wrong. Vegas is bad.

Remember last week when I wrote about how my annual trip to Las Vegas for the Mountain West Conference Tournament is the highlight of my year and the weeks leading up to it are filled with giddy anticipation of the delightful frivolity to come?

Well fuck that. That version of me is dead. I am now in post-Vegas recovery mode and I hate everything.

Continue reading “I was wrong. Vegas is bad.”

Vegas: IT LOOMS

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Unincorporated Clark County, baby

Remember when you were a kid, and Christmas was the greatest, most exciting, happy event you could imagine? My favorite movie, A Christmas Story, summed it up perfectly:

“But no matter. Christmas was on its way. Lovely, glorious, beautiful Christmas, upon which the entire kid year revolved.”

Nothing else mattered. Whatever else was going on in the world, inside or outside your home, was moot. Christmas was coming and everything was wonderful.

As a 28-year-old, Christmas isn’t quite what it used to be. But now I have Las Vegas. Specifically, my annual trip to the Mountain West men’s basketball tournament is the week upon which the entire year revolves.

Continue reading “Vegas: IT LOOMS”

New Year’s Resolutions for the Mountain West

The New Year is upon it, and with it comes a renewed sense optimism for all – even members of the Mountain West Conference. Well, everyone except San Jose State.

Poor, sad, pathetic, idiot San Jose State.

But there’s hope for the rest of us! Here are the New Year’s Resolutions for 2017 from around the Mountain West.

Continue reading “New Year’s Resolutions for the Mountain West”

Didn’t make the trip to Vegas? Here’s what you missed

 

lord

HOLY SHIT WE REALLY WON THAT GAME

Sorry, I just got home from Vegas three days ago and am still adjusting to normal life, where drinking while crossing the street is frowned upon and $25 is a measurable amount of money and basic human dignity exists.

But forget about the debauchery and the [NUMBER REDACTED] dollars I lost at video roulette. The Aztecs won a game! On national TV! Against a really good team! And set some insane records! What even is life as an Aztec fan right now?

Let’s start at the beginning.

Continue reading “Didn’t make the trip to Vegas? Here’s what you missed”

Rocky Long live the king

rock

Did you know there are people who sincerely believe the earth is flat? It’s true! There are living, breathing, functional human beings who are convinced that our planet is not spherical.

There are also people who think vaccinations turn children gay and that Del Taco is better than Taco Bell. Even more absurd than all of those maniacs are the people who think SDSU football would be better off without Rocky Long.

Continue reading “Rocky Long live the king”

OFFICIAL POWER RANKINGS: 2016-17 basketball road trip destinations

If I may divert your attention away from football and our tightly contested quest for another Mountain West division title, we do have a full season of bouncy hoops on the horizon. Many questions about this team remain unanswered.

How will the newcomers fit into coach Fisher’s rotation? Will Jeremy Hemsley make the proverbial jump from promising freshman to dominant sophomore? Could Zylan Cheatham lob an alley-oop so high that even he, himself could not slam it down?

But even above all those is: which road trips should fans be planning? Between Fresno, Albuquerque, Reno, Phoenix and Honolulu, there are a lot fun and exciting places to develop a crippling addiction to crystal meth with the locals. Not to mention the big city excitement of Chicago, Las Vegas and Logan, Utah.

Here are your potential Aztec basketball road trips, ranked worst to best:

Continue reading “OFFICIAL POWER RANKINGS: 2016-17 basketball road trip destinations”

IT’S HATE WEEK (or whatever)

San Diego State has a rivalry problem.

The problem is that the Aztecs don’t have a real rival.

If you went to Wyoming or Arizona State or New Mexico and asked anyone on campus who their chief rival is, you’d get consistent answers of Colorado State, UofA and general human decency.  Continue reading “IT’S HATE WEEK (or whatever)”

The six fans you are sure to meet on the Aztecs bandwagon

As I mentioned in my last entry, San Diego State athletics’ incredible climb to prominence over the past eight-ish years has given rise to an insufferable eclectic group of entitled passionate jackasses fans. But not all SDSU supporters fit the same mold.

Here are the six types of Aztecs to watch out for:

Continue reading “The six fans you are sure to meet on the Aztecs bandwagon”

Sweet home, DeKalb-o

I try to make it out to at least one football away game per year. Why? Let me tell you, there is nothing more fulfilling than flying thousands of miles to watch your team get beaten into oblivion or your coach pretend we have no kickers on the roster or just appreciate the exciting local artisanal meth scene while your team blows a double-digit lead.

As I said in my introduction, I have a storied history of watching SDSU football games on the road, entering this season with a 2-8 record that boasts huge wins in such iconic venues as Sam Boyd Stadium in Las Vegas (against one of UNLV’s worst teams, and that is really saying something) and Spartan Stadium in San Jose (which, in fairness, happened to be a pretty damn awesome comeback win).

But with the chance to check out Chicago and see a game at Wrigley Field for the first time – coupled with my my undying love for sweet, sweet #MACtion – this trip for the Northern Illinois game was a no-brainer for my four buddies and me.

Continue reading “Sweet home, DeKalb-o”