Game Preview: Boise State University Broncos at Aztecs

rod_long
Artwork courtesy of Banksy.

What: Boise State Broncos vs. No. 19 San Diego State Aztecs
When: Saturday, Oct. 14 at 7:30 p.m.
TV: CBSSN
Line: Aztecs -7

Focus, focus, FOCUS!
It’s easy to look past this week’s opponent, with the Old Oil Can looming large next w-LOL, just kidding. Coming into the season, you likely had ASU, Stanford, Air Force, and Boise State pegged as San Diego State’s most foreboding opponents. So far, so good, so undefeated; just like you* expected!

While not the Boise State of old, the Boise State of present is still a good team. The Broncos are still widely considered to be the premier Group of Five program in the nation, a title San Diego State would love to take away. This one game won’t accomplish that, but winning head-to-head is a good way get the right kind of attention on the program. Boise State hasn’t won the Mountain West since 2014, which is incidentally the last time these two teams met (a 38-29 Broncos victory in Boise).

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Game Preview: Aztecs at University Of Nevada, Las Vegas Rebels

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What: No. 19 San Diego State Aztecs vs. UNLV Rebels
When: Saturday, October 7 at 7:45 p.m.
TV: ESPN2
Line: Aztecs -9.5

What can you say?

We’re playing it straight this week. While we’re usually here to act like dipshits AND inform (yours truly leaning HEAVILY into the dipshit portion), what happened in Vegas this week requires we put on our adult pants and act right. So as much fun as we have going in on UNLV alum and human FryDaddy Guy Fieri, now is not the time.

Unless you only go for industry conventions or some such (LOL NERD), you go to Vegas to blow off whatever amount of steam you need to blow off. Tables, booze, naked folks, professional naked folks, conference tournaments, video games, “Backdoor beauty?”, the buffet at Westward Ho (RIP), a store just for M&Ms. Fifty eight people were murdered, almost 500 people were physically injured, and an untold number of victims will carry around mental scars for years because some maniac wanted to make them pay for having a good time. Or some other stupid reason. Whatever, it doesn’t matter. Nothing will justify/explain it to a rational mind. Just know we love you, Las Vegas.

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Game Preview: Northern Illinois University Huskies at Aztecs

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What: Northern Illinois Huskies vs. No. 19 San Diego State Aztecs
When: Saturday, September 30 at 7:30 p.m.
TV: CBS Sports Network
Line: Aztecs -10.5

THE EVERGREEN TERRACE BOWL IS HERE AGAIN
This week’s matchup is the second in a home-and-home with the Huskies, a team named after a size of Sears Toughskins pants I wore as a kid. In last year’s contest, as you may recall (or perhaps not), the Aztecs went to DeKalb and defeated NIU 42-28. A convincing score for a game that left many of us relieved when the clock hit 00:00.

While the “Evergreen Terrace Bowl” sounds like a challenge/party game in Washington and Colorado (word to January 2018 in California. Uh … don’t smoke the dope, kids.), it’s shorthand nationally* for the game between the alma maters of animated married couple Dan Castellaneta (NIU, 1979; voice of Homer Simpson) and Julie Kavner (SDSU, 1971; voice of Marge Simpson). After last year’s victory, San Diego State leads the all-time series 5-0.
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Game Preview: Aztecs at United States Air Force Academy Falcons

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What: San Diego State Aztecs (22) vs. Air Force Falcons
When: Saturday, September 23, 16:00:00
TV: CBS Sports Network
Line: Aztecs -3.5

In the…Air Force! You can…fly…the seven…skies…in the Air Force!(?)

Along with the Army and Naval academies, the Air Force Falcons answer the question that has gripped the nation since 2014, when @YoungCons made the world think for a moment – could The Troops dominate a football league, were they so inclined? Perhaps not, but they generally put together a pretty competent football team. And in the case of this year’s Falcons, they’re the conference game I was most concerned about in the preseason. And that was when I figured on a loss to Stanford, no “TRAP GAME” narrative, etc. etc.

I will be All Business today, because unlike Rocky Long…I don’t hate The Troops or America.

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Game Preview: Aztecs vs. Stanford Cardinal

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What: Stanford Cardinal vs. San Diego State Aztecs
When: Saturday, September 16, 7:30 p.m.
TV: CBS Sports Network
Line: Stanford -9.5

Stansbury, the Harvard of the west!
North, south, east, or west, there is only one HAAAAAAAR-VARD. All Jessie Spano wanted to do was go to Stansbury, and she totally pooched the SAT. Zack then hired bad actor James, a waiter at The Max, to play a representative from Harvard. The man is meant to stand out as a bad actor on Saved By The Bell, so you know how that goes. And Stansbury totally bought it! Also, they offered Slater a car to go there! That’s a rules violation! Tells you what kind of school we’re dealing with here!

A good one with a good football team standing in the way of San Diego State becoming the latest Group Of Five darling.

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Game Preview: Aztecs at Arizona State University Sun Devils

Pictured: Tempe, Ariz.

What: San Diego State Aztecs at Arizona State University Sun Devils
When: Saturday, September 9, 8 p.m.
TV: Pac-12 Network
Line: ASU -4

Arizona’s not even a state! Oh, it is?
This week, Rocky Long loads up the Airstream and takes the team out on a weekend of hunting bighorn sheep in the desert that will turn into a dangerous game of survival to Tempe, Ariz., to take on Power Five opponent Arizona State. San Diego State has NEVER defeated Arizona State (0-10-1 all time), a point we should continue to make through Saturday. It’s one of those things that’s kind of fun when you finally break the streak, and something to definitely ignore should Aztec fortunes continue in similar fashion.

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Game Preview: Aztecs vs. University of California, Davis Aggies

An Aggie is a … horse?

What: University of California, Davis Aggies at San Diego State Aztecs
When: Saturday, September 2, 5:30 p.m.
TV: Facebook (seriously)
Line: N/A (Aztecs -A LOT)

I’m so hungry, I could eat at Arby’s
Football is back. Hooray! Who cares who the opponent is, right? This is your requisite cupcake to start out the season. Meals start with an appetizer, where football seasons start with dessert. Except dessert is usually rich, sweet, enticing and not this. Perhaps we should start calling these games “putting on your pants before going out” or “where the fuck did I leave my belt?” These are terrible ideas, I realize. We’re STARVING.

What is great is that San Diego State is estimating a crowd of around 50,000 for tomorrow’s game, which feels oddly great to say after the last few months of football-related drama in San Diego. Assuming the game goes as expected, it should be a cathartic experience.

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The sex number, the weed number, the serpent, the priest

By any measure, San Diego State men’s golf alum Xander Schauffele had a pretty nice showing at this past weekend’s U.S. Open at Erin Hills. The Aztec For Life and PGA Tour rookie found himself tied for second after the first round, a position I would most certainly fuck up myself. He did not. Through the weekend, Schauffele kept himself in striking distance to potentially win the damn thing.

After narrowly losing out on a PGA Tour card on the 2016 Web.com Tour (presumably Inter.net and InformationSuperhighway.org were already taken), Xander joined fellow Aztecs J.J. Spaun and Scott Piercy on the 2017 PGA tour via his qualifying finish at the Web.com Tour Finals. Would he pull out another last-minute success at the U.S. Open?

Indeed. He finished the tournament tied for 5th, shooting a final round 69 to earn a purse of $420k.

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