Atrocity Recap: Aztecs literally lose to UNLV at football

For all the glorious games of the Rocky Long era, there have also been some absolute steaming turds. Eastern Illinois in 2013. South Alabama in 2015. South Alabama in 2016.

WELP, you can add UNLV, 2018 to the list of scatological infamy.

The Aztecs lost 27-24 at home on Saturday night to a team that had beaten an FCS opponent, possibly the worst team in FBS and exactly zero other teams. The Rebels lost to San Jose State and New Mexico, giving up 50 on both occasions. They’re really, really bad.

Maybe we are too? I really don’t know anymore.

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Game Recap: OK, this is getting sad

downward-spiral

Seriously, what the hell happened to this program, man?

Remember when the San Diego men’s basketball team would lose a game — even a tough road game against a good team like this — and it would ruin your night? That was, like, four weeks ago. Right now, the only thing resembling sadness I feel is because I have to spend the next hour of my Saturday evening writing about that dumb game rather than drinking myself into a stupor in front of my Netflix.

SDSU finished dropping its 83-58 turd in Reno not 10 minutes ago, and I already don’t care. I didn’t even really care as it was happening. The only time I felt a twinge of agony was during the in-game interview with Steve Fisher, which was frankly an unwelcome reminder of what we’ve lost*.

This season has become such a colossal shitshow, the Aztecs have become … a mid-major college basketball program with whom I live a lie. 

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Welcome To Loserville

Aztecs men’s basketball has been a constant in our lives for the last decade and a half. Roughly. There have been ups and downs, but for the latter portion of that stretch, we’ve seen a large amount of success. We’re not used to the kind of utterly hopeless season we’re looking at right now.

Okay, I am. It’s why I’m writing this.

Would you guess that many San Diego State students and alumni did not, in fact, grow up in San Diego? This means they’ve likely seen their team win something. I haven’t. I grew up in San Diego. I love an (historically) incredibly inept baseball team and used to love an even more inept football team.

When we here at the Kabeer Thirty Labs had the idea of how to cover a “lost” season, @lemonverbena_ yelled “SEA” at nobody in particular, @AttemptedChem did that thumb pointing thing to the back of a Tim Salmon shirsey and @AKH_blog showed me three makeshift World Series championship rings and “4TNI NERZ” knuckle tattoos. We like @jodes0405 way too much to put her through the ringer, so I was tasked with torturing my soul once again.

So I’m here to offer you a few strategies for enduring this hoops season like a true San Diego sports fan.

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Game Recap: Aztecs lose Oil Can, pitch season into garbage can

giphy

Here is a list of things the San Diego State football team did not do during its 27-3 loss to Fresno State on Saturday night at SDCCU Stadium:

/cracks knuckles

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