For all the glorious games of the Rocky Long era, there have also been some absolute steaming turds. Eastern Illinois in 2013. South Alabama in 2015. South Alabama in 2016.
WELP, you can add UNLV, 2018 to the list of scatological infamy.
The Aztecs lost 27-24 at home on Saturday night to a team that had beaten an FCS opponent, possibly the worst team in FBS and exactly zero other teams. The Rebels lost to San Jose State and New Mexico, giving up 50 on both occasions. They’re really, really bad.
Maybe we are too? I really don’t know anymore.
Since selling out in an inspiring win over Boise State a month ago, SDSU has sleepwalked through close wins against terrible team after terrible team. Finally — and in hindsight, inevitably — one of those terrible teams finally bit them in the ass.
The Aztecs, who entered laughably favored by 24 despite not having beaten an FBS team by more than eight points all year, looked like they would muddle through with another C+ effort.
Despite not being able to run the ball against the Rebels sorry defense (seriously, what the hell happened to this offensive line?) SDSU found some success through the air, thanks to a breakout night from Tim Wilson Jr. Wilson caught five passes for 123 yards, including touchdown passes from both Christian Chapman and Ryan Agnew, who entered the game in the second quarter and stayed in as it was deemed he had the hot hand.
It seemed like enough. The Aztecs carried a 24-13 lead into the fourth quarter — comfortable enough that most of the sparse crowd decided to call it a night.
Unfortunately, the SDSU defense decided to call it a night as well.
UNLV chipped away by marching 75 yards in 11 plays on drive that included a conversion of a 3rd and fucking 20 on a short pass from Max Gilliam to Shetland running back Lexington Thomas.
It’s OK though, SDSU — still up 24-19 — pinned the Rebels at their own 8 with 5:20 to play. The Aztecs defense isn’t going to let a team march 92 yards and take an L this brutal. Not going to happen, folks. Not going to …
Wait, hang on …
OH FUCK OFF.
It didn’t get better from there. Agnew, driving near midfield to set up a game-tying field goal, then threw a really bad interception to Jericho Flowers that sent me and a few thousand other tortured souls stalking off to the parking lot, questioning the life choices that led to us to this moment.
That really, really sucked. All of it.
Best Some of Aztecs Twitter
This is the only Tweet that matters right now.
Rating Rocky Long’s likely enjoyment of the game, on a scale of subtitled French coming-of-age film to 1977 Trans Am with radar detector.
Today’s game rated a Watching “The View” While Nursing a Kidney Stone in a Hospital Waiting Room on the Rock-o-Meter. It was as boring and banal as it was horrifically painful.
Pretty much your typical November crowd for a season where the wind has come out of the sails. It was a little more populated than the Air Force rain game, but not by much. Probably in the high teens.
The good news about this? Ever since Measure G passed, the attendance shamers can’t hurt us anymore. Let them sneer. It was a crappy crowd and I don’t care. EAT SHIT, ATTENDANCE SHAMERS!
Losing to UNLV at football? That still hurts us. Quite a lot. Eat shit, us.
What’s next for the Football ‘Tecs
The MWC West title and a cheap eBay oil can are on the line as SDSU (7-3, 4-2 MWC) and Fresno State (8-2, 5-1 MWC) clash on the Green V next Saturday at 7:30 p.m.
ALL IS NOT LOST. WE CAN STILL DO THIS!
Uh, do you see the Aztecs winning this game? Yeah, me either.