Another week, another bunch of inconsequential yet marginally meaningful football results from the cowardly lions of the Little Conference That Couldn’t. Hit it:
UNLV 41, Hawai’i 38
In a game broadcast only on the spiritual plane, the Rainbows led 31-24 and 38-31 in the 4th but let UNLV come from behind to steal a W. The gun-shy Rebs, shut out on offense with just two completed passes at the Q last week, torched UH for 535 total yards and 29 first downs on the road at Honolulu. I don’t think we need to worry about Hawai’i.
The Aztecs’ path to the MW championship game is even easier now. Look at this garbage division:
These guys gonna hurt us? No, these teams are cowards.
New Mexico 45, AF 40 (at Cotton Bowl)
The Air Force should not be losing to Old Mexico or New Mexico. What has become of our once-fearless military? The Lobos tallied 373 yards rushing and 70 passing in the Air Force Classic sponsored by Lockheed Martin (really).
Boise State 28, Colorado State 23
Another close intra-conference result, surprisingly since the Rams were 28-point underdogs to the 15th-ranked Broncos on the Xtreme blue turf. Keep being overrated, Boise; it’s the only thing that can save the Aztecs’ strength of schedule.
SJST 14, Nevada 10
Ultimate humiliation for the whimpering Wolf Pack. The Spartans roll a Trojan horse full of their -75 point differential into the Q this Friday night. Don’t be scurred.
San Diego State 17, Fresno State 3 (Friday)
SDSU keeps terrifying their conference opponents defensively and broke a long drought of not winning football games at Fresno (see our recap). The win must have impressed exactly one AP Top 25 voter, as the Aztecs went from 2 to 3 votes in the poll.
— Kabeer Thirty (@kabeerthirty) October 16, 2016
Other notable results:
Great. South Alabama resumes losing to bad Sun Belt schools right after ruining SDSU’s champagne wishes.
Western Michigan and Houston both won.
NEXT WEEK in the Mountain West:
The Aztecs host Cal State San José while these other idiots continue ineffectually flailing about. Games:
BYU at Boise State (Thursday) – Why is this game? Indie BYU gets to play SDSU’s one marquee conference opponent and are contractually locked into the Poinsettia Bowl. Quit haunting us, Brigham Young.
San Jose State at San Diego State (Friday) – SDSU opens as 22.5 point favorites. If they beat SJSU by 50 maybe we get back into double-digit Others Receiving Votes votes. 7:30 p.m. on ESPN2. Big time!
Hawai’i at Air Force – In 1993 Congress passed the Apology Resolution, which acknowledged “that the overthrow of the Kingdom of Hawaii occurred with the active participation of agents and citizens of the United States.” And yet they still have to battle the Air Force. It’s 2016, people.
Colorado State at UNLV – Fans visiting from Fort Collins will have to be careful as weed isn’t quite yet legal in Nevada.
Louisiana-Monroe at New Mexico – Louisiana-Monroe is a school with a football program, apparently.
Wyoming at Nevada – WYO is the only team that could threaten Boise in the MW-Mountain division. The Wolf Puppies are yella.
Fresno State at Utah State – Like a clash of civilizations, only super boring.
KABEER THIRTY 